The physical pain of exercising started to help with my emotions, and next thing I know I was racing Ironman Professionally because that felt good. After a while things were getting shaky and it wasn’t feeling good anymore, in fact, was a case of the Mondays after every single race.
In 2014 another crisis broke, it was like a Deja-vu because I realized I haven’t changed a bit, I just substitute on addiction to the other and this time was even worst! I mean, way worst. During my crisis the thoughts off hurting myself came up many times, but one thing always prevented me from doing: Music, more specific Metal and Punk. I mean, every single time I thought about it I went back to my albums, listen to music and I would connect to my soul. 2014/2015 (beginning) was different because due to life I lost my entire collection of albums (300 plus albums) and I actually did hit myself in the head a few times, nothing major but it was scary and I could not look myself in the mirror. I didn’t look good naked, cause that was not me.
2015 came along and I was able through writing to start expressing my feelings. I was finally able to say that I wanted to become a Dad and have a family, and in the end of October, meaning October 31st he was conceived. During the 2015 season I slowly started to race less and focus in other things.
January 2016, I did my last race, I tried to go back to training, but my soul was screaming for a change. I could no longer keep racing. Eight weeks before Luke was born I got my so dreamed guitar (since I was 5 years old). July 2016 Luke was born, and he was born with a physical challenged called nemaline myopathy. I remember one day thinking how I am going to teach him to accept himself and his challenges when I haven’t accepted myself?!?! Therefore, the process intensified, which I like to call a rebirth process, questioning everything, I mean every fucking thing. I went deep, as deep as I could go.
So, who am I? I am:
- Punk by nature!
- Earth Rocker, because Rock and Roll saved my soul!
- Dad, because with great power comes great responsibility.
- Reiki master!
- Artist (Music and writer)
- 18xIronman Finisher
May the life force be with you!