On 02.20.2020 I sang live for the first time. I sang 2 songs, Everlong and All apologies but All apologies was the first song that I actually got in front of the mic to sing. After the show I had mixed emotions, well to be honest, I did not know what to think.
A few days later I went to look at the video, and that brought me to how I felt that night without my inner judgments, so I went ahead and posted in all my social media. Today I got my first comment which made things super interesting for the stuff that I am writing (Rock-it-ology.com). Here it is the comment.
Here is the thing, for some people this might be something that I shouldn’t be proud of. Yes, I know it sucked, I watched the video and I heard that song millions and millions of times. It sucked and I loved because I was there for me (can get any more rock and roll than that?), for my sanity and happiness. I am not there to be a rock star, or to fill up a stadium with millions of people watching me, or to impress anyone.
Do you know what I see when I watched the video? I see years and years of mental wars being smashed right in front of my eyes. I see years and years of people telling me that listen to this kind of music would take me to hell and I will burn for the rest of my eternity. I see my 7-year-old self singing and playing an air guitar making a dream come true. I also see a middle age man having a good time.
The same day of the show completed 8 months that I left therapy crying my eyes out, got in the school of rock and signed up for the adult band program. So, in my view there is a lot to be proud on this video because in order to get there I had to face a huge demon, and most important: It felt awesome and I can’t wait to fucking do it again. I mean, what is not to like? I am in a room with family and friends, filled with beer, medicinal herbs, playing and singing songs that are sending me straight to hell. Is there anything better than that?
I believe that to be yourself is the most punk thing you can ever do in life, and that is why I said on the show that I teach my son how to be a punk. That day for me was a rebirth, or as I prefer to call as “the return of the punk”.
Conclusion: The show was a success, because we did it and it felt awesome! And for the record, no I am not offended with the comment. I am actually grateful because I wanted to talk about this and really didn’t know how. That comment just gave me the inspiration so thanks!. Yes, I don’t take things too seriously, it’s just life, and we are just monkeys with an essential crisis. Plus, I know where I am going after here, so might as well have a good time.