Chapter 12: the thin line between love and hate.

I must confess I am loving 2020 because my life started to make sense, and as I said I found my why. I always believed in crisis, I mean crisis bring the best out of us. Because there is no way around it, you have to face it in order to survive. That is why I truly believe crisis brings in the best in us, we have to change, there is no escape.

During my healing process that includes lots of music, skateboarding, singing, guitar/bass playing and my monthly therapy sessions I realized that Religion is the biggest bully of all times at least with me. That is what my book is really about. I love the topic spirituality/existance but I hate religion because put most people in a box, a depressive box of unworthiness. That why for me in that topic there is a thin line between love and hate. Spirituality is about love and unity, however what religion teaches is hate and separation. Unfortunately I never had a chance to say my side of the story, I was shut off by Religion and that cause me a great amount of pain and anger.

Now, did you know that my best iron man ever was racing with anger released in a positive way. That was the race I did against my brothers. I love them but I hate the fact that I was smaller and got beat up all the time. However, in an ironman race we are all equal, and that day my goal was simple: to beat them in the race with as much as spare time as possible. Yeah, I used all my anger to a good thing, to have the performance of my life, a performance that made my career boom as an athlete and coach. What’s best is that was during the race and nobody got hurt, well maybe egos got hurt,but that is ok. I felt relief but took me awhile to understand why that was my best race.

Now when it comes to religion I have been bully for 40 years, I tried many times to approach and have conversations. Real deep meaningful conversations, but I was never received with an open heart. Which sounds crazy, because it should be the opposite. Up to 2020 I had hopes in 2 Religions, not to join but to listen. The 1st was spirtism and the 2nd new age type of thing. However 2020 showed me different again. Around June 2020, in an instagram live where it was a new age subject I said something about rock and roll I was received with an really weird vibe. A judgmental one, so I was ok, for that reason I am out. Then yesterday I made a comment in a famous YouTube channel about spiritism, and I was received the same way, with the same judgmental vibe. It was weird because in both times I came from a loving place being true to myself, making a true statement and in a polite manner. Once again I was received in a judgmental way.

One thing I learned is that with bullies you have to fight back, but in a smart way. Religion have been bullying me for years. They didn’t even stop to hear me, they took my voice and I got in trouble for it. Now I need to make my voice heard for my own healing and for that I am telling my story, a book that Religion will try to burn. Now what do I do with all that anger built? Do the same thing that I did in the ironman against my brothers, use my anger to build good. That is when Rock-it-ology was born.

The name Rock-it-ology came from the song Rock-it from Motörhead. The lyrics says it all, Rock and Roll saved my soul and Lemmy’s got it. Inspired on that was what made want to share the story and use my anger to something good and since life is like an ironman race. I will let it out in this life, cause I am not carring this for the next one. What you do in this life echoes in the eternity so I will fight the evil forces of religion, and remind kids about unity (love). Think about it, I will leave an story with true conisidences, like a prophecy, with music to wake up the inner child feeling (inner punk). This way just like in this iron maiden song, when is my time to go heart will die and my soul will fly forever. Truth is you can burn a book but you can’t shut a thinking mind. Genius or insane? I now think I am a genius, or I am the fallen angel and I am here accomplishing my mission.

Now is a matter of time, of Religion going down, I mean kids just need to be remmeber of who they are and what they came here for. They will shape the world the way they want too and kids are naturally born punks. Like I said is not about me, is about my kids and the world I am leaving for them. I won’t lie the older you get are harder it is due the baggage, but it’s possible. You just need to be willing to get out of the matrix. Meanwhile I will keep fighting back because I won’t sell my soul. The truth is the more I do it, the better and more loving Dad I become, because heals me and allow me to fully presents with my kids and less time between the walls of unworthiness.

They will shape the world the way they want too and kids are naturally born punks. Like I said is not about me, is about my kids and the world I am leaving for them.

For me it all make sense now, is all about Roots and Attitude (thanks Sepultura). The roots here are going within, however going within means going to your darkness and that is painful as fuck, but very rewarding. Attitude is punk, meaning facing your demons. Just remember light needs darkness to shine, is all connected and its all about balance!

Punkaste,

Rirou

One of my favorite songs from Motorhead

When a person turns to wrong, is it a want to be, belong?
Part of things at any cost, at what price a life is lost At what point do we begin, fighter spirit a will to win
But what makes a man decide, take the wrong or righteous road There’s a thin line between love and hate
Wider divide that you can see between good and bad
There’s a grey place between black and white
But everyone does have the right to choose the path that he takes We all like to put the blame on society these days
But what kind of good or bad a new generation brings Sometimes take just more than that to survive be good at heart
There is evil in some of us no matter what will never change I will hope, my soul will fly, so I will live forever
Heart will die, my soul will fly, and I will live forever Just a few small tears between someone happy and one sad
Just a thin line drawn between being a genius or insane At what age begin to learn of which way out we will turn
There’s a long and winding road and the trail is there to burn There’s a thin line between love and hate
Wider divide that you can see between good and bad
There’s a grey place between black and white
But everyone does have the right to choose the path that he takes I will hope, my soul will fly, so I will live forever
Heart will die, my soul will fly, and I will live forever I will hope, my soul will fly, so I will live forever
Heart will die, my soul will fly, and I will live forever The thin line between love and hateThe thin line between love and hate

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