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A case of the mondays – Corona virus edition

I woke up yesterday (Monday 03/23/20 Day 18 of quarantine) with the feeling that the air was heavy. I went to check on the news like I usually do, to try to understand what is going on, and I wanted to cry when I saw what was going on. I could not help to feel the despair in the air.

Somewhere back in time I used to feel a lot, I mean, I was born like this. I was born with a great amount of sensibility which that made me feel things around me, and a lot of times my way to express that was thru crying. To get a better picture on how much I cried, BOYS DON’T CRY was the song everyone sang to me. Over the years I did what pretty ever man was told to do; hold it in and hide your emotions. That is what I did for years, until I hit 23 years old I was extremely depress and going through one of the biggest crisis of my life. The day I smoke my last cigarette I wrote and signed a manifesto, that said pretty much this: “From this day 11/02/03 I promise to put my health and happiness in the first place and live with a purpose.” I signed and threw away a brand new pack of Parliament, and I started therapy. I started my own therapy and therapy with a psychologist.

I started my own therapy after watching Office Space (where a case of the mondays come from) and after I saw lot of things on the business world that was nasty (corruption), I realize I wan’t being true to myself. Because what I saw was not right. I decided to change and find something that I love doing and make it my career and I did. I started to race Ironman professionally and coaching athletes of all levels. That process was helping me reconnect with my true self, and it felt good. Yes, lots of ups and downs but it felt good. Made me feel alive again. My life was super simple compared with before, but I was making it and I was staying thru to myself and choosing love over any challenge that I had, and believe me I went through a lot of them. When I say challenge I mean LIFE, because there is always something.

A Case of the mondays!

Around 2013/14 another crisis broke up, because once again I was seeing a nasty side of professional sports. I am not talking only about doping, but also cheating in general, and that I was not willing to do, because was not compatible with my true self. So, I started to question things and I started to feel more and get to know myself even more.

When my son was born my ability to feel came back full force, and yesterday I felt the air super heavy, lots of confusion and anxiety. As the day went by I started to seethe nasty side of the whole corona virus and a huge amount of confusion.

Conspiracy?

Let’s pretend is a conspiracy, and if is true whoever created and executed a plan like that can only be a complete insane. For me, is hard to believe someone could do that. Honestly, I can’t imagine a human putting a go ahead on a plan like that. However, most likely there are people in the world that would do that.

Real virus?

If is a real virus, meaning not man made, it’s feels even crazier because it feels like we are back in the cold war. Also, we can clearly see that most “leaders” are willing to save the economy than actually people, and on top of that they are not willing to lower their benefits while most people lose theirs.

World painted blood

Yesterday after a lot of meditation, and music to help me feel reduce my anxiety, I realized the World is painted blood. Because on top of the corona virus pandemic people are fighting with each other,not only about the topics above but also about toilet paper and other supplies. This is a huge lack of love, empathy and compassion for me, and it feels likes the world is painted blood; and the media absolutely thrive on this blaming game.

In every crisis I went through in life I learned that went shit hits the fan people will show their true colors, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s like the world is naked and afraid. Like I told my friend the other day when we were talking about that; right now what difference does it make if is a conspiracy or simply something that just happened? Knowing that, won’t stop you or your loved ones from catching the virus with the possibility of ending up in the hospital.

For me, crisis happens to makes us grow, and it’s part of life. I always believed we are here to grow, and seems like this is a collective challenge that is bringing out the good, the bad and the ugly in everyone. Now, with every crisis comes an opportunity, that being said we can remain the same and keep repeating the same mistakes again and again; or we can change and grow.

After I made the choice of love I have lived by the philosophy of being the change I wish to see in the world. I am not perfect in fact for a lot of people I am an asshole because sometimes I use sarcasm as self defense, and I can do that pretty well. I know I will not be perfect however, I try my best to not be an asshole daily.

With everything that is going on right now, I can’t stop thinking on what kind of world do we want to leave for our kids.Today, the corona virus is giving us an huge opportunity to be the change we wish to see in the world, which is the base of the philosophy I created called Rock-it-ology.

My thoughts can seem like utopia, but that does not change the fact that we treat each other like assholes. Using the theory of evolution we went from monkeys to monkeys with an existential crisis. That obviously includes me, and like I post before I have 40 years of existential crisis experience, I just didn’t talk about it. I may be a dream but I know I am not the only one.

Here is a quote from the one of the books I am writing:

“to be the change you wish to see in the world, is the most punk thing you will do in your life”

Richard Wygand

Below you will find some of the songs I mention in this post!

Much love,

Richard Wygand – The Punk Rocker Philosopher Dad.

Dream of mirrors

Somewhere back in time when I was a young child I used to have dream. The dream was in black and white and everything around me gigantic. I was screaming but nobody was listening, and everything around me was getting bigger and bigger.

After awhile things were so big that I didn’t dream anymore, but the dream was marked in my mind, like a tattoo. For years I was trying to understand the dream, until my 14th day of quarantine (yes, we started early but it’s a long story) when I had my Skype Therapy session, and it all made sense. I have been wanting to right a lot about this, I actually started writing last year, then took a break from posting to organize my ideas.

You can’t see because of my belly, but it’s where the white line is.

During my life I have always believed in Love, and Being the change. To have an idea on the 2014 ironman season I wrote on uniform the famous Gandhi quote: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, coincidentally that was the year I won my first race, and pretty much when my midlife crisis begun.

Having said that I decided to create a “religion”, which is more like a philosophy, and like I said I have always believed in LOVE and BEING THE CHANGE, so I took what hurt me the most in life (religion) and created a new one! The prophecy is based on a true story with a little bit of comedy, however the message comes from the heart!

I am writing the whole thing including a Holy Book witch contain 7 commandments which I call Punk Rules and from that came the Punk Daily Wisdom. The prophecy is called dream of mirrors from the Iron Maiden song, but also because I believe the more you empower yourself, the more you can empower others around you. It’s simple, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”, plus life is a mirror since people and situations in life are there to either teach you something, or learn something from you.

“Life is not about waiting to the storm to pass, neither how to dance in the rain. Life is about realizing you are the storm. It’s all connected”

Richard Wygand – The punk rocker philosopher Dad

Remember, “Life is not about waiting to the storm to pass, neither how to dance in the rain. Life is about realizing you are the storm. It’s all connected”. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Our current situation have a lot to teach us.

Much Love,

Richard Wygand – The Master Punk Rocker Philosopher Dad

Check out the prophecy video:

And here you can check out the Iron Maiden Song, this video is from one of the best concerts that I ever been in my life. Rock in Rio III in 2001. Below the video the lyrics.

Have you ever felt the future is the past, but you don’t know how?
A reflected dream of a captured time, is it really now, is it really happening?Don’t know why I feel this way, have I dreamt this time, this place?
Something vivid comes again into my mind
And I think I’ve seen your face, seen this room, been in this place
Something vivid comes again into my mindAll my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation
Have I found my destination? I just can’t take no moreThe dream is true, the dream is true
The dream is true, the dream is true Think I’ve heard your voice before, think I’ve said these words before
Something makes me feel I just might lose my mind
Am I still inside my dream? Is this a new reality
Something makes me feel that I have lost my mind All my hopes and expectations, looking for an explanation
Coming to the realization that I can’t see for sure I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, please save me from myself The dream is true, the dream is true
The dream is true, the dream is true I get up put on the light, dreading the oncoming night
Scared to fall asleep and dream the dream again
Nothing that I contemplate, nothing that I can compare
To letting loose the demons deep inside my headDread to think what might be stirring, that my dream is reoccurring
Got to keep away from drifting, saving me from myselfI only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself Lost in a dream of mirrors, lost in a paradox
Lost and time is spinning, lost a nightmare I retrace
Lost a hell that I revisit, lost another time and place
Lost a parallel existence, lost a nightmare I retrace I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself
I only dream in black and white, I only dream cause I’m alive
I only dream in black and white, to save me from myself The dream is true, the dream is true
The dream is true, the dream is true

The collapse of the Matrix

First of all let me explain what I see as the matrix. Back in 2002 I was in a major crisis for the simple fact that I was working full time in a job I hated, and studying something that I also hated. I was 260 pounds, smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day and drink every night. Truth is, I was just miserable. I was 22 years old making good money but I was selling my soul. I was living a life that was not serving me, in fact that was the opposite, this life was making me sick. In order words, I was repeating the same old story: go to school, get a job, sell your soul, etc. That for me is the what matrix is, it’s a belief by society on how life should be.

Now the universe is making us slow down life with the corona virus, where we are in quarantine with pretty much a “force” family time. If you stop to think about it, family is the heart of a society.

When I first moved to Colorado I got a job coaching 2 classes of middle school kids, and 1 class of elementary kids for physical recreational activities. What I first notice was that those kids were craving for attention. The funny thing is, if you look at it the kids you automatically think: they have everything to keep them busy such as: iPads, Phones, toys and much more. However, they were still craving for attention. I also notice when the parents came for the games the kids would perform much better.

Looking at life in a philosophical way, we can basically say that mother earth is sending us to our room to think on what we are doing. There are 2 things I learned in all the crisis I went through in my life is:

1- If we don’t change the crisis will get stronger and stronger until we finally make a change. Like a music in repeat, but each time the song repeats it gets louder and louder.

2- Change must come from the within, because if you don’t make a change from the core you are just doing a quick fix.

The corona virus crisis is giving us an opportunity to make a real change, and that is why I say the matrix is collapsing. That fast way of life where there is barely time for family is collapsing right in front of our eyes. Rather you like it or not is giving us an existential crisis, because is making us slow down life, and consequently we have time to start question our own existence and our lifestyle.

There are a few things I learned during my own crisis:

  1. It’s ok to not know.
  2. Don’t be afraid of the new and let go the old.
  3. Take a deep breath and listen to your intuition, trust me, it never fails.

And that is all for today my friends!

Richard – Master Punk Rocker Philosopher Dad.

Ps: Here is a pretty cool Punk song about society.

Brave New World – Corona Virus

I joke a lot, but the truth is that is just a very small part of me. Since I was a kid I have been always super sensitive  (emotionally) and my intuition was always one of my strongest part. One of the things I love to do is to talk about our existence. Since a little kid I have been fascinated with this topic, however this side was little by little getting shut off for numerous, one of them is Religion.

I have always wanted to talk about this because I learned in my life experience that you can’t have true health if you don’t take the soul into consideration. For years, I have focus on my body and mind leaving the soul out of the equation. A little bit before  Luke was born I started to feel the need to talk about this, I just didn’t know how.

I have always believed in being the change you wish to see in the world, so I got the thing that hurt me the most (religion) aligned with one of my biggest passion in life and created something new and different. Rock-it-ology is a philosophy, or simply something to believe in, based on the famous Gandhi quote “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, and based on the connection between mind, body and soul.

On 03/13/20 the world has changed forever, where most people prepare to lock down in order to contain the corona virus. This virus is so powerful that is making the world stops, I’m not saying that is powerful in strength or something like. I am saying that is powerful in a sense that is literally making the world slow down life.

One of the things that I love to do is; look at life as a metaphor, like one of Bob Marley song says something like this “Everything happens for a reason, find its purpose”. I totally agree with that, everything happens for a reason, is up to us to find out why. We can only do that if we are connected with our true self.

I don’t think we can deny the fact that our lifestyle is no longer sustainable and we are totally disconnected. We are disconnected with what is really important in life, and an invisible “enemy” is giving us an opportunity to stop and build something new.

My suggestion is take this time to go within without any judgment and reconnect with your true self. Spend time with your family. Talk about difficult things. Talk your about your existence, relationships,  challenge the so called status quo, call your friends, etc. You got the point, right?

Most important now is, don’t be an asshole because we are in this together, rather you like it or not, we all live in the same house (planet earth), and we are kinda of a big family. Remember: change is never easy, and requires you to face your fears. Go with in and face your demons.

That is all for today, there is a lot more coming since I am writing the Rock-it-ology Holy book among with other small books about spirituality and love. Today I leave you with an Iron Maiden song called Blood Brothers from one of my favorites album; Brave new world.

BLOOD BROTHER IRON MAIDEN 

Much Love,

The Punk Rocker Dad.

Here are the lyrics:

And if you’re taking a walk through the garden of life
What do you think you’d expect you would see?
Just like a mirror reflecting the moves of your life
And in the river reflections of me
Just for a second a glimpse of my father I see
And in a movement he beckons to me
And in a moment the memories are all that remain
And all the wounds are reopening again
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
And as you look all around at the world in dismay
What do you see, do you think we have learned?
Not if you’re taking a look at the war-torn affray
Out in the streets where the babies are burnt
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
There are times when I feel I’m afraid for the world
There are times I’m ashamed of us all
When you’re floating on all the emotion you feel
And reflecting the good and the bad
Will we ever know what the answer to life really is?
Can you really tell me what life is?
Maybe all the things that you know that are precious to you
Could be swept away by fate’s own hand
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
When you think that we’ve used all our chances
And the chance to make everything right
Keep on making the same old mistakes
Makes untipping the balance so easy
When we’re living our lives on the edge
Say a prayer on the book of the dead
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
We’re blood brothers
And if you’re taking a walk through the garden of life

 

 

The return of the punk!

On 02.20.2020 I sang live for the first time. I sang 2 songs, Everlong and All apologies but All apologies was the first song that I actually got in front of the mic to sing. After the show I had mixed emotions, well to be honest, I did not know what to think.

A few days later I went to look at the video, and that brought me to how I felt that night without my inner judgments, so I went ahead and posted in all my social media. Today I got my first comment which made things super interesting for the stuff that I am writing (Rock-it-ology.com).  Here it is the comment.

20200304_194341

Here is the thing, for some people this might be something that I shouldn’t be proud of. Yes, I know it sucked, I watched the video and I heard that song millions and millions of times. It sucked and I loved because I was there for me (can get any more rock and roll than that?), for my sanity and happiness. I am not there to be a rock star, or to fill up a stadium with millions of people watching me, or to impress anyone.

Do you know what I see when I watched the video? I see years and years of mental wars being smashed right in front of my eyes. I see years and years of people telling me that listen to this kind of music would take me to hell and I will burn for the rest of my eternity. I see my 7-year-old self singing and playing an air guitar making a dream come true. I also see a middle age man having a good time.

The same day of the show completed 8 months that I left therapy crying my eyes out, got in the school of rock and signed up for the adult band program. So, in my view there is a lot to be proud on this video because in order to get there I had to face a huge demon, and most important: It felt awesome and I can’t wait to fucking do it again. I mean, what is not to like? I am in a room with family and friends, filled with beer, medicinal herbs, playing and singing songs that are sending me straight to hell. Is there anything better than that?

I believe that to be yourself is the most punk thing you can ever do in life, and that is why I said on the show that I teach my son how to be a punk.  That day for me was a rebirth, or as I prefer to call as “the return of the punk”.

Conclusion: The show was a success, because we did it and it felt awesome! And for the record, no I am not offended with the comment. I am actually grateful because I wanted to talk about this and really didn’t know how. That comment just gave me the inspiration so thanks!. Yes, I don’t take things too seriously, it’s just life, and we are just monkeys with an essential crisis. Plus, I know where I am going after here, so might as well have a good time.

Punk Rules!

Richard Wygand.

WATCH ME SUCK AND SINGING!

Caught somewhere in time

Please allow me to reintroduce myself. I am human and that means I am not perfect but for many years I tried to be perfect and that lead me to a dark place called Depression. For years, I tried to run away from myself until I couldn’t run anymore, and I had a major crisis. I needed to change, but for what? I didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t know how I felt. So, I started to start exercising to lose weight, and quit smoking (cigarettes) and drinking.

The physical pain of exercising started to help with my emotions, and next thing I know I was racing Ironman Professionally because that felt good. After a while things were getting shaky and it wasn’t feeling good anymore, in fact, was a case of the Mondays after every single race.

In 2014 another crisis broke, it was like a Deja-vu because I realized I haven’t changed a bit, I just substitute on addiction to the other and this time was even worst! I mean, way worst. During my crisis the thoughts off hurting myself came up many times, but one thing always prevented me from doing: Music, more specific Metal and Punk. I mean, every single time I thought about it I went back to my albums, listen to music and I would connect to my soul. 2014/2015 (beginning) was different because due to life I lost my entire collection of albums (300 plus albums) and I actually did hit myself in the head a few times, nothing major but it was scary and I could not look myself in the mirror. I didn’t look good naked, because that was not me.

2015 came along and I was able through writing to start expressing my feelings. I was finally able to say that I wanted to become a Dad and have a family, and in the end of October, meaning October 31st he was conceived. During the 2015 season I slowly started to race less and focus in other things.

January 2016, I did my last race, I tried to go back to training, but my soul was screaming for a change. I could no longer keep racing. Eight weeks before Luke was born, I got my so dreamed guitar (since I was 5 years old). July 2016 Luke was born, and he was born with a physical challenged called nemaline myopathy. I remember one day thinking how I am going to teach him to accept himself and his challenges when I haven’t accepted myself?!?! Therefore, the process intensified, which I like to call a rebirth process, questioning everything, I mean every fucking thing. I went deep, as deep as I could go.

From 2016 until 2019 it was a huge process of reconnecting with my truth self, where I finally started, I finally started to feel comfortable in my skin, but my voice was not there yet. I wanted to follow another path, but the fear and judgements were still there.

Caught somewhere

2020 came up fast my project is ready but with no action. I was having lots of trouble putting into action, it was almost like I could not move forward, I was paralyzed. Everything that I want to do is clear to me, but I needed action.

Well, last week we went to check our 2nd baby ultrasound, and unfortunately, we got the news that we had a missed miscarriage, and it was just a matter of time for the physical effects to appears.  That hit me hard. Hit me hard so that a thought, why wait? I mean we have 1 in 400 trillion chance of being born, why wait to be happy? Why wait to be who you are? Why let fear and judgment stop you from being happy? So here we are, somewhere in time and I finally caught my SOUL!

Please check it out my project at www.rock-it-ology.com and check out some of my cool T-shirt designs at https://www.distinctbranding.com/collections/team-higher-purpose.

May the life force be with you!

Richard Wygand

Rock-it-ology Episode 1- Slayer Saves

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-pat9x-c7edfb

Rock-it-ology Episode 1: Slayer Saves!

Here it is my new series called Rock-it-ology where I talked about many things like mind, body and soul, but with a big focus in mental health, since doing this podcast is a form of healing for me.

Rock-it-ology includes:

-Fatherhood Rocks Podcast

-Fatherhood Rocks E-magazine

-Fatherhood Rocks Music (coming soon)

-Fatherhood Rocks Comics

-Fatherhood Rocks TV

 

So, here it is Rock-it-ology episode 1, Slayer Saves. This is a true story of my biggest case of the Mondays. 

Rock it,

Richard Wygand – Punk Rocker Dad

iStruggle, is there an app for that?

The other day I did two interviews. One was for a podcast, Totally Rad Dads and other for my mother in law project. The questions asked in those interviews where deep and for the first time I was able to talk about it deeply, and it felt good to talk about my struggles, I mean was not easy, but I did feel relief afterwards. That is why I decided to share a bit in this post.

I fought depression and anxiety for most of my life. I had several episodes where I tried to hurt myself, nothing crazy, just thoughts. Most of my depression came and comes (now I learned how to manage) from a difficulty of expressing myself. In part this happens with the fear of being judge which I believed the consequence of that is shame and guilt.

One day I decided to make a change, but I did not really know how, but I started to challenge myself. I started to exercise, and the physical pain was helping, but the mental struggle was still there. I remember after every single ironman it was a case of the Mondays where all mix emotions came out alive. You know, in order to do your best in such an endurance race takes a tool in your mind, in fact one of the greatest athletes in the sport once said: Training is 10% mental and 90% physical, racing is 10% physical and 90% mental.

After one of those ironmans I went on my second biggest depression phase where one day I punch myself in the head a few times. After a lot of intense therapy some things started to get clear in my mind and the emotional numbness that I had all these years started to dissolve. I started to dig where are all those things coming from.

Well, I realized this whole thing was way deeper than I thought, its something that runs deep in our society. You see, I am an iron maiden fan since a very young age. I remember at the age of 5 I asked to grow my hair just like the iron maiden guys, and I wanted to play the guitar like them. But guess what? That was shut off because heavy metal was considered bad and evil. When I was 7 the pope went to my hometown, and that was right after the catholic church prohibit Iron Maiden to play in Chile. I remember seeing him on the news I stood up and literally called him an asshole. Well, of course I got in so much trouble. I could not understand how something that gave me so much joy could be bad or evil? All of these made me angry to a point I tried to stop listening to my favorite songs. But then something happened… I became a Dad, and that is when real changed happened.

After Luke was born several things happened when it comes to spirituality, well they still happen, and they are very strong at time. However, there are 2 big situations that brings a lot to my attention. First, one day I took Luke to a park where a group of kids from a church were there, and they were beyond nasty with Luke, talking about him, pointing, laughing to a point a parent came to take their kids from getting close to Luke. Second, was the Jehovah witness that knock on my door and try to lecture me about disease, and the devil. From that day and beyond I thought, I cannot let this happen with Luke.

So, I started to write and that is when all of this is coming from. Since I struggle with self-expression, I tried a few different approaches on how to pass my massage until, fatherhood rocks came to life. I decided to embrace myself and write about it with this blog, my e-magazine, my podcast and videos. Writing is a self-healing process that may or may not help other and may or may not make people uncomfortable since I talk about things that challenge the status quo. I always try not to be an asshole, but when you talk about things that challenge beliefs sometimes you will sound like an asshole, but oh well…

The funny thing is a lot of Iron maiden lyrics helped me understand and overcome a lot of those challenges, for example the song judgments of heaven, from the X factor album. I know I cannot change the world, but I can be the change I wish to see in the world, and this is what fatherhood rocks is all about.

Rock it,

Richard Wygand – A dad on a mission!

Here is the Iron Maiden song with lyrics is case you are interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TseKeYIKb2M

PicsArt_09-06-10.54.31

Iron Maiden

https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-2ah7g-bf2777

Fatherhood Rocks – Iron Maiden

In this podcast I share one of my favorite story from my childhood, it was the day I called the Pope an Asshole. I was about 7 to 8 years old, so I added the soundtrack from iron maiden (favorite band). 

There are 8 of my favorite songs from 1980 to 1990!

Rock it!

Richard Wygand – A Dad on a mission!

Join the Ganja Witness revolution: https://www.facebook.com/groups/494019488057475/?ref=group_browse

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