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The healing power of anger

Well, I said in my last post that my life js odd. My life is so odd because sometimes I think I am the only person in the planet that believes anger is a good thing. Well, maybe Johnny Rotten is right, anger an energy. I believe it is an energy and a good one. Don’t know about him, I recently got his book so we shall see. But I do believe is an energy and I believe is great if channelled properly.

I mean, I was here in my bean bag thinking: “man, writting a book and launching an album was so healing “. That’s when I realized I used all my anger into something beautiful. Because my book above all is a true love story. It’s raw, but it is. And my album, what can I say? Is what I truly wish is to you go follow your dreams. Just remember, it will be rock and roll.

Anyways, looking at my book and remembering the talk I had in my last podcast with Renata and Mateo. I realized, a lot was left out. I mean details of the battles of the ironmans. Those were golden years. Honestly, the internal battle of wanting to understand why I hated myself were intense. Good thing I like onions because it feel like onions, trauma have layers and layers and crying and crying until you get to the root.

I guess, I internalized my anger to not cry and I got numb, so numb that I couldn’t even feel myself. Well, like my first sponsor (my brother) said in the preface of my book, I choose brutally. I chose pain. That was my way out. I looked in the mirror and said ok, “don’t wanna say it, fine. We will fight like lions in a cage”. It felt like fight club 😁. Well, that’s how I found the root of the cause. It was too long to put in a song so I put in a book, however the first book because I think the details of the battles will be cool to be written.

Anyways, the best thing is that now I know how to feel up the cup in the soul level. You know that quote, right? You can’t pour from an empty cup. Now is like I am living lighter. Floating, instead of caring the world in my back. Sure is how it feels. I can see the difference in my entire life, I mean every body can. Well, spiritual trauma is that. It affects everything because the shit is deep. And the healing came from anger and picking a fight with the mirror. After all I didn’t look good naked.

Odd right? Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe there are way more people like me out there. Who knows. But I think is quite ironic the fact I am a reiki master and fan of anger. Anger is an energy and is a great one to initiate change. Helped me achieve dreams and overcome fears, and to find myself again. Feel whole and reconnect with my true self. There is no better feeling than feeling connected, and that feeling affects your surroundings.

Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup, and yes, today I do look good naked. Sure I look like Chewbacca but a feel like a twinkle twinkle little star. (I hope you are laughing as much as I am). I must say, save my soul with rock and roll and come back with a Philosophy based on anger it’s guite genius or insane. Who knows? Just, don’t mind the bollocks, but isn’t ironic?

Versão brasileira Herbert Richers (Portuguese)

Punkaste!

Darth Rirou

The irony of life

Today, in a rare moment I watched the Megyn Kelly show clip on YouTube got me thinking. Life can be so ironic sometimes.

Right before covid crisis hit us I was starting write my book and do my music protect. Writing my book has always being one of my dreams, but not any dream. A dream from my heart, because I always felt I had something to say, however what I share is complex and deep. At least for me because I can’t explain a highly intuitive person. Now, being that way was never a problem, besides the fact I hated myself for being highly intuitive, until 2020. In 2020 my intuition and my sensitivity went sky high, that I actually saw this whole shit coming. Intuition is one of the reasons I decided not to get vaccinated. Truth is, my life is odd and there is an odd chance of the vaccine having an odd side effect. We are know, we are just not talking about it. Also, as my therapist once said, your intuition have served you well.

Anyways, as former professional triathlete and coach, I can honestly say; that are other way of protecting from a virus. I live that, not only as an athlete but as a Dad. Even Dr Faucci would agree (at least before 2020) that diet, exercise, and sun exposure are the best ways to protect yourself from infectious disease. He said it before. Besides that are other doctors that would agree with that statement.

I understand that choose exercising, sun light, and diet (I mean, eat like you give a fuck), is hard. Not only that, because when your start doing all of this it will require to face yourself. Meaning your soul. That is very hard, I know from experience. Before even thinking about my first ironman, I was smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day and 260 pounds. And severely depressed. I just hated myself, and to start changing it was hard as fuck. I know from experience.

My point is: we all have choices, and every choice will have an outcome. I guess, 3rd law of newton can be applied: every action have reaction, and both contains some risk. You have to admit, there are risk on both sides, therefore in the end we are talking about faith. Correct? I mean, you can be vaccinated and be healthy and get hit hard with corona virus or not. But also you can be unvaccinated and can get hit hard or not. Now, faith doesn’t mean necessarily faith in God, like most people think. Can easily be faith in yourself, and that’s where intuition comes in. And honestly I think is time to society accept that trusting your intuition and using as compass for life; it is, in fact, a way of living so certainly like science.

I know I am not alone in any of those examples that I mentioned above and yet, we have to see the president of France saying he wants to piss off the unvaccinated. We have to see Pope Francis, the leader of the Catholic church, shaming humans during the biggest mental health crisis in the world. And today we witness a professional athlete being banned from a competition for choosing not to be vaccinated.

Back in 2020 I said, this is an existential crisis becuse it hits us at the core, our health, and health is about mind body and soul. Based on our “leaders” we can clearly see that this is not a healthy society at all. Ironically the only way out of covid is going within.

Btw: where did the virus came from? Did Epstein kill himself?

Punkaste,

Darth Rirou.

When two worlds collide

Last year I got so much shit from being unvaccinated. I mean, been called crazy was the nicest thing. The truth is, and I wrote in this blog before, I question if I am a genius or insane. Either way, my reason for being unvaccinated comes from experience. An experience the came from the battle of 18 ironmans in a search of understanding of a recurrent dream. Well, 2020 came along and that’s both worlds collided, the spiritual and physical, and I came to understand the recurrent dream.

Now, I know I don’t look like the kind of guy that is guided by the star, spirit or even dreams. Well, that is when things get hard because I am. It is what it is and it was not a problem until recently, when it came to covid-19 jab time. My intuition just gives me a big NO and society comes with the shame and blaming game. Sure, me a middle class Dad is the menace to society for trusting my intuition, something that guided me my entire life. Between that and the political game of blame and lies, of course I will trust my intuition more than any Bill Gates, Dr Faucci or Pope Francis.

Now if you care to take a look, read me like a book, and try to understand my insanity, you can. I tell my story raw, just like this blog, in my book Punkaste. Now, if you don’t care, is cool, just don’t be an asshole about it. And if you decide to be an asshole, it’s okay, I won’t be offended. It’s not going to be the first time and most likely not the last time I am labeled as crazy. It is what it is!

Now, in a world where major decisions are made in a handshake, and handshakes are nothing more than a subtle fuck you, I will stick to my intuition. I won’t sell my soul. We still have free will, right? or is all bull shit? Anyways, my book is out!

Punkaste,

Darth Rirou

PS: You can read the first 3 chapters here.

English Version
Portuguese version for USA.
Portuguese version for Brasil.

Spiritual trauma

Spiritual trauma is real and yet very difficult to talk. I have been trying to do a conclusive video but it’s been hard. The words do NOT flow, and since I like to keep things real I will talk about it live.

Here is the invitation to the live tomorrow and a little bit about it.

Punkaste,

Darth Rirou

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