Day 14 of 40 – The end of the world as he know it

Rirou woke up that day March 26th feeling ready for a change. Some studies claims that takes 21 days to make a change, and Rirou was in his 21st day of quarantine, but officially 14 days since it was declared state of emergency in USA.

Rirou knew it better that he couldn’t let the trigger pull him down, after all that was the same bomb triggering again, yes less intense, but it was the same one. Since Rirou’s quarantine started due to the COVID-19 he decided to use this time as a metaphor and make this his “walk to the desert”. Rirou loves metaphors, and this one seemed perfect. The corona virus was hitting the core of our issues (society, at least it seems like it) making the world slow down and go within. Rirou did that and got into his own matrix.

Rirou knew that he deals with depression, and that procrastination is a symptom, but why? Fear was one of them, but he was already losing that, but Rirou was getting close finding out why. When Rirou got into School of Rock he not only wanted to play the guitar, but he wanted to learn how to sing as well. Singing is another metaphor for Rirou, it was like learning how to find his voice, literally cause Rirou singing sucks, it’s true and he knows. He doesn’t care, that is healing for him and healing is messy. So, to be fair he is in pre school of Rock, and he first singing class was in December 2019 so maybe one day it will get better. Just a matter of time or not, who knows.

Rirou went to organize and fix shit around the house, and he finally finishing painted his cave. This was not the normal set back, that was the end of the world as Rirou knew it. That was a huge progress for Rirou and Rirou this time did not stop working on his “evil” plot, instead he found his old writings with the missing part of the plot.

Feel Good,


Day 1 of 40 – Clear your mind

Rirou woke up Thursday morning March 12th with an emotional hangover, since once a month on Wednesday Rirou goes to therapy, and it was that time of the month. Funny how Rirou’s mind works like a clock. Every month is the same thing, a week before a therapy session some feelings always flourish. I guess is the male version of having a period. It’s like every month Rirou’s have one of those life ah-ha moments, but an emotional/spiritual ah-ha moment. Like a spiritual awakening.

That Wednesday night during therapy Rirou have uncovered another big ah-ha moment. This time was different because he was attacking the core of the issue of the matrix. The matrix works in layers, and each one of them is an emotional ah-ha moment that brings a lot of discomfort. Discomfort is the side effect of the red pill, and you take the red pill there is no turning back, you must go down the habit hole.

The day after an ah-ha moment is like you are hangover from a big night of drinking. You are confused and you need to wait for the sensorial overload to lower so you can clear your mind and understand what’s going on. The truth is healing is painful, and sometimes you need to go into the darkness in order to see the light. Healing requires courage because there is no heaven without a hell, and you need to go through that emotional hell in order to see the light. Rirou has been in the dark for so long, just like in his old dreams, however this time he was starting to see the light. Things were not as big as they were before, and what’s better he was able to identify the “things”. Those “things” were a pure reflection of his warped mind reflecting back at him, with evil faces twisting his mind and bringing him to despair.

During this time the world was going insane in the brain with the corona virus pandemic forcing people into quarantine in their house. Rirou was already 1 week in quarantine,  meaning life had slow down a lot, and Rirou was pretty much living in his pajamas, after all it was pre therapy week (PTW, the male version of PMS), and Rirou was having one of those weeks. The world was slowing down but Rirou’s mind was still at speed of light. With the world was going insane, and the sensorial overload super high so it was harder to clear your mind. That morning Rirou went to take his emotional support dog for his morning walk and he had a small memory of that dream he had that night. He remembered something or somebody whispering, “it’s time to act”. 

Rirou was curious about the dream, but he didn’t know what it all meant. Was that another life metaphor telling him to act? Was that the end of his world as he knew it? He just knew it that something needed to be done, perhaps he just needed to clear his mind.

To be continued…

Feel Good,


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