Day 21 of 40 – The gift of fatherhood, part 3.

Continuing from part 2.

On September 2017 they were going through their second hurricane, and in order to escape they went to a friends house is Alabama. Breathing new airs for Rirou was extremely good cause he realized he was ready for a change.

The trip to Alabama was a very stressful trip and in order to keep the vibe of the family up Rirou was using a lot of music, specially with Luke. After Luke was born Rirou didn’t have much time to play the guitar, but on that trip to Alabama he got a Toy Guitar and started doing songs for Luke.

Rirou notice that music made Luke not only makes him happy but helped him move with the rhythm and he kept asking for faster songs. Moving fast is one of the key things to help overcome nemaline myopathy, since the muscle fibers affected are the fast twitch ones. Therefore an exercise with fast movements would definitely be beneficial. Rirou had always trained listening to Rock, that is where he performed the best. Another mind blowing moment for Rirou.

Rirou had no belief, but he knew it that he had a special connection with the universe. Every time Rirou needed guidance he would look you at stars, specially the moon. Rirou considered himself a moon child. During that trip, Rirou look to the skies over and over again, after all we all know Alabama is where the skies are so blue. Rirou had never felt so whole in his life, fatherhood is his biggest gift, his life purpose. Rirou believes in the stars and in the life force,after all he saw in the NICU but now he had proof that was writing in the stars.

The seed was planted now it was time to change, and the universe pointed to Colorado with a new opportunity. Another mind blowing moment, since Colorado was where they announced the name writing in the snow on February 2016. It was time to Run to the hills!

Now, is day 21 of Rirou’s walk to the desert and it is time for a change and start his project.

Feel Good,

Rirou

Day 19 of 40 – The gift of fatherhood, part 1.

Rirou woke up that Tuesday morning March 30th and he knew it that his world was about to Rock, and for those about to Rock, we salute you. Rirou needed to salute his inner child in order to be a good Dad. You can call him a dick, an a$$hole or even an worthless punk, but he wanted to make it different. Rirou did not want to pass his emotional issues, he wanted to break the cycle. In order to understand that we must go back in time…

It was Festivus day somewhere back in time and Rirou was debating his existence, he went to a friend’s house that just had a baby. After holding and playing the baby for hours Rirou knew it he was ready to be a Dad. However, first Rirou needed to go through his biggest crisis of his life. That was Rirou’s worst crisis but with therapy and time Rirou came back stronger and on Halloween day Luke was conceived.

Rirou decided he was going to do one last ironman. He signed up for Ironman Cozumel, however his mind and soul were in a different place. Rirou was tired of the ironman life. He started the race, and never finished. His lost his water bottle, and rode 25 miles (40km) with no water. He got dehydrated due to the 90 F degree (35 Celsius) weather in Cozumel. Rirou has pushed the limits many times, but this time he did not feel like it. He saw his wife, Luke in the belly and 90% of the race cheating, he said “fuck it! I am done.” Rirou stopped and took the rest of the time in Cozumel as a vacation.

Rirou did not like to quit, he came back home and didn’t train for 4 weeks but he decided to do a local Ironman in Naples Florida in January. He didn’t train much because he just wanted to finish and take the sour feeling from his mouth. Rirou liked local races cause there is less cheating; a local race have at max 400 athletes, and an Ironman race have 2000+ and in theory less drugs. However, on a smaller races he could recognize the athletes that cheated and he talk shit in their face. Rirou is a punk in so many ways, and he did not tolerated that, and he said that loud and clear whenever he felt like it.

Anyways, Rirou did the entire race with Luke’s ultrasound picture with him, he knew that was his last ironman and he was dedicating that race to Luke. Rirou won the race, waited to his athletes to finish and congratulated them. After racing for 10 hours he drove 2 hours because he wanted to go home and stay with his family. He even skipped the podium.

Rirou’s last ironman

A few weeks after that Rirou found out they were having a boy, and he started to build his room. Rirou gave the name idea because he is a big fan of star wars (yeah, it’s not Luke from the bible, it’s from star wars) but Rirou only told his wife about Luke Skywalker character after she already was hooked on the name.

Rirou wanted to be a super present Dad and he knew he needed to talk to Luke as much as he could to build that connection. Dad’s need to build a connection. The mom caries the baby, so they are already connected. Rirou created an email for Luke, and the first e-mail he wrote was about what they were doing in preparation for his arrival. Rirou attached on that e-mail the soundtrack that he used to build Luke’s crib, and how that music touches his heart and how happy music made him feel….

To be continued…

Feel Good,

Rirou

Day 15 of 40 – Brave new world

Rirou woke up that Friday March 27th in a new world, at least for him. Seems like Rirou have finally changed, and he was entering in his new world. His matrix was collapsing and that was only day 15 of his “walk through the desert”, the COVID-19 desert.

Rirou’s favorite concert – Iron Maiden Rock and Rio III 2001- Rirou was there!

After Luke was born Rirou was already in a midlife crisis, which is not a crisis, but the truth is Rirou was sick of triathlon. He loved the sport, but he have had enough and his soul was screaming for a change. People kept telling that he should be life coach, write a book, and make one of those all in one programs like Tony Robbins and shit like that. Even though Rirou like to read that stuff and uses some of “new age” tools he was not a “hero” neither he had a magical formula. Honestly, if you ever seem the ads for life coaching you will understand what Rirou is talking about. It’s perfect people, with a perfect magic formula that will give you an 6 figure income while you sleep, or perfect body by following the “magical formula”. Rirou knew it that life was not like that; for him life is about the good, the bad and the ugly. He knew from coaching experience that everyone is different and unique, so why create a product like that? If he did not believe, of course it would not work.

Now, that Rirou was reconnected with his soul, and he knew it that was not the way to go. Since a very young age Rirou knew it that the world did not need a another hero, another perfect people. The world need more punks, more real people, more people feeling good about themselves. Like Rirou always says: “Nothing is real until you feel it”, and life is about how you feel. Rirou is empowering himself by learning the guitar and how to sing, he is empowering his inner child. That means he has to be a beginner again.

On 02/20/2020 Rirou sang for the first time ever, he knew it sucked, after all he knew the song since he was 15 years old. But singing and playing felt so good that Rirou did not care, he was happy doing it and he wanted to punk the world. As a former triathlete he knew it that a goal without a plan was just a wish, and what could be more punk than writing his own Religion? That day was not a set back, that day was a new world for Rirou, that day the punk was back at work (Ironic, right? a punk at work). He just needed

Anyways, here it is Rirou singing for the first time. The jokes are good, the guitar is bad, and the singing is ugly. However, that made Rirou happy.

Probably the worst cover of Kurt Cobain.

Feel good,

Rirou

Day 13 of 40 – That time of the month again

Rirou woke up that Wednesday March 25th a little off. He woke a little bit behind and started to rush to catch up getting Luke ready for the day. But also, Rirou was still tired, not physically but mentally. Depression sometimes feels like is 2 steps forward one step back, and working on it makes you tired.

Sometimes it takes one small thing to trigger the bomb in Rirou’s head. The biggest issue is when self doubt hits and that feels like everything just freeze and thinking clear becomes nearly impossible. When that happens and you add fatigue to it’s like a bomb just exploded. Hopefully is a different bomb, with a different lesson so you can keep moving forward. Sometimes, is the same bomb and that is a different feeling, because is a feeling that you are stuck.

Rirou like to call those bombs as releasing the demons inside of his head, and the only way to move forward is facing them, otherwise they get too big they will take you down, and that is a place you never want to go back. It’s like racing an ironman; you have to face the pain in order to finish the race otherwise you end up quitting, and that is not a good feeling at all, and that is a place you don’t want to go back either. Quitting never feels good. So, this time was the same bomb again. Yes it sucks, but this bomb that has been exploding for awhile in Rirou’s head. It’s an enormous bomb the biggest he have ever seen. This is the bomb that holds the matrix together, but on the bright side, that bomb is getting much smaller and a lot less intense.

On top of that, it was that time of the month again. Rirou was 1 week from another therapy session, so he was with PTW (Pre therapy week, male version of PMS). Although, this time the feeling was different, very different…

Feel Good,

Rirou

Day 9 of 40 – Ditching the pajamas

Saturday march 21th, Rirou woke up that day like just like another Saturday, he woke up slow. Well, now without school he was waking slow everyday. After all is has been 9 days of officially quarantine, but Rirou and his family were in quarantine for 16 days already. It has been 16 days in pajamas pretty much.

During the COVID-19 quarantine it became a normal thing to people go live on social media, talking about many different topics. Some lives, were awesome, other not so much. Rirou was not really into this but sometimes it was fun. After all, Rirou was getting some social media distancing and it was helping him.

Rirou went to watch a live, normally he did not participate, he just watched and for some reason he decided to ask a question. It was live about spirituality, energy and mind; something that Rirou loves. So, Rirou asked the question and due to his username the response was the same old story, a simple: “You got to be careful with Rock”, meaning the Rock (punk. metal etc) was a bad vibe. But for the first time in 40 years he did not get mad, in fact he laugh and thought the bullshit is everywhere.

Rirou finished the live, and he could not understand why people say that Rock is bad vibe? If spirituality is about inner peace and Rock gave Rirou inner peace, how could be bad? After all if it wasn’t for Rock Rirou would not even be there watching that live. Rirou have had suicidal thoughts in the past and Rock was the only thing that have helped him. Rock made him and his family happy.

That day Rirou reacted differently, like a rebirth from the matrix the red pill was working. Rirou was not angry anymore, and he took that as a sign. A sign that it was time to share the story and continue his plot, after all Rirou belived in being the change you wish to in the world. Rirou made huge progress in looking good naked, but that live made him no longer afraid… it was time to ditch the pajamas.

Feel Good,

Rirou

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