Tag: existential crisis

The irony of life

Today, in a rare moment I watched the Megyn Kelly show clip on YouTube got me thinking. Life can be so ironic sometimes.

Right before covid crisis hit us I was starting write my book and do my music protect. Writing my book has always being one of my dreams, but not any dream. A dream from my heart, because I always felt I had something to say, however what I share is complex and deep. At least for me because I can’t explain a highly intuitive person. Now, being that way was never a problem, besides the fact I hated myself for being highly intuitive, until 2020. In 2020 my intuition and my sensitivity went sky high, that I actually saw this whole shit coming. Intuition is one of the reasons I decided not to get vaccinated. Truth is, my life is odd and there is an odd chance of the vaccine having an odd side effect. We are know, we are just not talking about it. Also, as my therapist once said, your intuition have served you well.

Anyways, as former professional triathlete and coach, I can honestly say; that are other way of protecting from a virus. I live that, not only as an athlete but as a Dad. Even Dr Faucci would agree (at least before 2020) that diet, exercise, and sun exposure are the best ways to protect yourself from infectious disease. He said it before. Besides that are other doctors that would agree with that statement.

I understand that choose exercising, sun light, and diet (I mean, eat like you give a fuck), is hard. Not only that, because when your start doing all of this it will require to face yourself. Meaning your soul. That is very hard, I know from experience. Before even thinking about my first ironman, I was smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day and 260 pounds. And severely depressed. I just hated myself, and to start changing it was hard as fuck. I know from experience.

My point is: we all have choices, and every choice will have an outcome. I guess, 3rd law of newton can be applied: every action have reaction, and both contains some risk. You have to admit, there are risk on both sides, therefore in the end we are talking about faith. Correct? I mean, you can be vaccinated and be healthy and get hit hard with corona virus or not. But also you can be unvaccinated and can get hit hard or not. Now, faith doesn’t mean necessarily faith in God, like most people think. Can easily be faith in yourself, and that’s where intuition comes in. And honestly I think is time to society accept that trusting your intuition and using as compass for life; it is, in fact, a way of living so certainly like science.

I know I am not alone in any of those examples that I mentioned above and yet, we have to see the president of France saying he wants to piss off the unvaccinated. We have to see Pope Francis, the leader of the Catholic church, shaming humans during the biggest mental health crisis in the world. And today we witness a professional athlete being banned from a competition for choosing not to be vaccinated.

Back in 2020 I said, this is an existential crisis becuse it hits us at the core, our health, and health is about mind body and soul. Based on our “leaders” we can clearly see that this is not a healthy society at all. Ironically the only way out of covid is going within.

Btw: where did the virus came from? Did Epstein kill himself?

Punkaste,

Darth Rirou.

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When two worlds collide

Last year I got so much shit from being unvaccinated. I mean, been called crazy was the nicest thing. The truth is, and I wrote in this blog before, I question if I am a genius or insane. Either way, my reason for being unvaccinated comes from experience. An experience the came from the battle of 18 ironmans in a search of understanding of a recurrent dream. Well, 2020 came along and that’s both worlds collided, the spiritual and physical, and I came to understand the recurrent dream.

Now, I know I don’t look like the kind of guy that is guided by the star, spirit or even dreams. Well, that is when things get hard because I am. It is what it is and it was not a problem until recently, when it came to covid-19 jab time. My intuition just gives me a big NO and society comes with the shame and blaming game. Sure, me a middle class Dad is the menace to society for trusting my intuition, something that guided me my entire life. Between that and the political game of blame and lies, of course I will trust my intuition more than any Bill Gates, Dr Faucci or Pope Francis.

Now if you care to take a look, read me like a book, and try to understand my insanity, you can. I tell my story raw, just like this blog, in my book Punkaste. Now, if you don’t care, is cool, just don’t be an asshole about it. And if you decide to be an asshole, it’s okay, I won’t be offended. It’s not going to be the first time and most likely not the last time I am labeled as crazy. It is what it is!

Now, in a world where major decisions are made in a handshake, and handshakes are nothing more than a subtle fuck you, I will stick to my intuition. I won’t sell my soul. We still have free will, right? or is all bull shit? Anyways, my book is out!

Punkaste,

Darth Rirou

PS: You can read the first 3 chapters here.

English Version
Portuguese version for USA.
Portuguese version for Brasil.
Check this Post from December 2nd 2020
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Chapter 9: 2020, the greatest metaphor

Many see 2020 as a bad year but for me it was the greatest year. I mean I love crisis because it bring that best in all of us if you take the opportunity,  and understand life’s metaphors.

When 2020 came along I was already in the process of writing my coaching  methodology. However,I was having a hard time with the final stages. I have made a clear connection between mind and body when talking about health, but the soul part have not been totally clear to me.

Depression is like onions,  full of layers and each layer have a lot of crying, pain, fear etc to be released. It’s hard, specially when you are getting to the core of the issue, which for me is existence. So, in 2020 I used the corona virus lockdown as a metaphor.  I was already going within for awhile, but this time I just took a deeper dive and went all in. I am talking about meditation 2x a day, sometimes 3. I went super deep and starter to connect all the dots in my life until now (never stops is my guess). Because the truth is purpose is the way out of depression. Purpose, not goals.

Now when it comes to soul talk, I must say: It has nothing to do with Jesus or God, It’s actually within. The issue is, going within is painful and we all fear pain. For me the issue is not the virus and the solution is not the vaccine, I think the shit is much deeper. The issue is existential,  lack of purpose, and the solution is going within. That is the greatest metaphor that 2020 brought us. To go within our houses, in this case ourselves, our soul.

One day I read in a book: “can you imagine a planet with a bunch of souls with no purpose? Well I can, Planet earth. Truth being told,if  there is one thing that corona virus gave all of us is an existential crisis, which reflects in our health system. First, we don’t face due to fear. Yeah, going to church is easy and not believing in nothing, it’s also easy. Now, stop go within and face your own existence and ask yourself: Qual é do bagulho? (Translation: what’s the meaning of life?), it’s very hard. Second, I believe we have all been traumatized on the soul level, let’s be honest, we live in the world that trys to put everything in a box, and in the world like this is hard to find any meaning to life. Third, is that I honestly think we are all disconnected. For me, food is what makes the biggest connection between us and the environment (planet), and health.  In this sense we are serverly disconnected and ironically is where my depression actually started, with the word: DIET.

Now, I think I am over the fear, at least over a good significant part of the fear. The reality is a traumatized soul with a malnourished body is a true disaster. Actually, if you think about it; a traumatized soul with malnourished body is actually war conditions. When we are in war with ourselves, we get fearful. Fear get you paralyzed and in fear we don’t think, we just react. So, to begin my philosophical health movement I must say, it all starts with food. Then you must go within and face your fears.

The formula out of depression is Purpose = coffee × weed² (P=CW²). Here are my videos of the week. The innerchild revolution is a philosophy created by my own experiences and studies. Disclaimer coming this week!

Punkaste,

Rirou

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