Chapter 3: Love Rocks!

I am Rirou the Punk, and I declare December 21st 2020, The Official Punkaste Day!

During this 4 years and 6 month since Luke was born, I confirmed what I already knew it: The way out of depression is with joy and purpose. 2020 is the year where I turned 40 and also the year I connected the dots in my life, marking this a rebirth. I picked this day for many reasons, but mainly is that I was in Brazil on the winter solstice the darkest day of the year. Therefore it makes sense to do this on the darkest day of the year the place I made my home. Well, this time is the darkest day of the year but with a huge light in the sky! Coincidence?

Sarcasm apart, I did connect the dots in 2020. After, I went to that full moon drum circle where I heard about the my possible mediumship, I finally started to talk more about that in my therapy sessions. That is when my therapist told me to go talk to her friend, Leslie the Good Witch. This is when things started to get interesting. So, I went to see her and we talk over 1 hour between tarot cards, astral maps and singing bowls. After the session she gave me a copy of The Celestine Prophecy book, and said “I was guided to give this book to you”. Anyways, life got crazy and I didn’t read the book until 2020 happened.

The other day the book pop up in my mind when I was passing by the office. I mean, it caught my attention and that same day I was talking to a childhood friend, and famous psychiatrist in Brazil, about religion and spirituality. That day I explained to him what I felt in my meditations, so it was a deep conversation. 2 days later YouTube suggested me The Celestine prophecy, so I thought “I guess is time to either read or watch the movie.” Well, I pressed play and boy, the movie is exactly the feeling I described to my friend. That feeling is the same one I get with music.

Now to add to it, in one of my talks with Leslie in 2020 she told me, “I am pretty sure you are an indigo child“. Well, I knew that since 2012, so she just confirmed me. Some people claim that indigo children have a collective purpose as well as personal one. Since I have always being attracted to this exoteric world, so it was super easy to go look it up indigo child purpose on the internet. I found a few things, including exercises that helps connect the dots, and that is when I found my joy, purpose and talents. Well, one of my talents is transform kids songs into punk rock songs which leads me to the mission of building an army of punk rockers. Divine intervention?

Genius or Insane I still don’t know, all I know all this stuff really happened and made my life make sense. Also, I was born with an artistic mind. Both of them explains my sensitivity in different ways. All I know is that I have tremendous joy in listening and doing music, that is how my love comes out. I also know that when I do that I can spread that love to my family being a present husband and Dad… and Nothing Else really Matters after that! Well, it actually does matter because Love is contagious and Love rocks, and I believe in Love!

I feel like a villain, like Drew from Minions, that can transform kids songs into punk rock. The difference in cartoons is that nothing works out for the villain, when for me is the opposite, when I embraced that side of mine, I started to heal myself!

Punkaste,

Rirou

In English

In Portuguese:

December 21, 2020 0

Chapter 2: Revelations

Before we got pregnant with Luke, my wife and I talked about my depression and I knew it I had to get my shit together. On that time, I already had a feeling my depression was related to my spirituality. Well, I think most depressions are related to spirituality. I know mine is and many other people as well.

After Luke was born he woke me up. I mean he brought back all my sensitivity. I do believe he has a power to turn on Love on people, I have seen so many times. Anyways, once he was born I started to look for answers, so one day I knew it I had to go to a full moon drum circle there was happenning near my house. There, I met Tecia one of the most spiritual persons I know, also a punk rocker and she was the ritual organizer. Nothing was planned, I just knew I had to go, when I got there for my surprise my friend Rafa was there. Rafa and I have shared many punk rock concerts, a few joints and a few good talks about existence.

After the circle I was talking to Tecia, and she looked to me and said “you are a medium”, and in my mind I was; “whatever!”. After that, life got a little crazier and we moved to Colorado. Once we moved here, I was struggling a bit with work and what to do with my life. I tried to go back to school but that was making it worst. One day talking to my wife, she said “the issue is you think you are over your depression but you are not”. She was right.

A few weeks later Slayer was playing the final tour here in Denver. Since I have always wanted to see Slayer live, I couldn’t miss the opportunity. It was also full moon that day, and during that concert I had one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. The energy was super strong and I was like, how? How is possible? I always heard Slayer was one of the most “evil” bands of all times. How was making me feel that good and giving me that many insights. Well, that night after the concert I finally unpack my guitar. But I also, felt that I needed to repeat what was echoing in my mind. Wait, what? Repeating what was echoing in my mind, meaning voices? Than I said, I need therapy!

I restarted therapy and that is when I started organizing Rock-it-ology listening to those words echoing in my mind. 2020 came along and I started connecting the dots, I finally stopped to listen to my inner voice. Being away from people was a good thing. That is when I realized I was in fact I am medium, a seed planted by a punk rocker back in 2016. A punk medium, but a medium. Well, if I am a medium this is definitely divine intervention. The crazy part is that by telling my story, my truth it does pick a fight with Religion because I was judge by day 1 for being different. The thing is if I don’t say it, of if I don’t write it I get angry, frustrated and a shitty old man and I don’t want to be like that. Especially around my sensitivite kids.

There are 2 things I want to teach my kids: one is to accept themselves, and two is to love themselves for who they are. Well, in oder to do that I need to accept myself, and accepting myself is about accepting my love for music, for the guitar and my sensitivity.

Bottom line is if you want to change, you need to face your fears, and love yourself. Depression is about waking up for love, and love is the absent of judgement. In order to understand that we must stop and listen to our inner voice. How? With meditation! Now, there are many forms of meditation, which one of them is listening music and also skateboarding. The truth is in order to love someone you need to love yourself, cause you can’t pour from an empty cup.

For me the way out of depression it is an inner child revolution. Now how excited I was to watch Slayer live? Like a child! Even my wife was like, what the hell is wrong with you today? Wanna proof?Check out the video I made going to the concert, a video that I never post even though I really wanted to, but I was afraid. Going to that concert really tapped into my innerchild. Do you know what it’s cool of all of this? The idea or facing my fear and learning the guitar came when I was building Luke’s room and listening to Iron Maiden Piece of mind album. In fact, in my first email for Luke during the pregnancy I sent him the link of the album on YouTube.

Punkaste,

Rirou

“Oh, God of Earth and Altar
Bow down and hear our cry
Our earthly rulers falter
Our people drift and die
The walls of gold entomb us
The swords of scorn divide
Take not thy thunder from us
Take away our pride” Just a babe in a black abyss
No reason for a place like this
The walls are cold and souls cry out in pain
An easy way for the blind to go
A clever path for the fools who know
The secret of the Hanged Man, the smile on his lips The light of the blind
You’ll see
The venom tears my spine
The Eyes of the Nile are opening
You’ll see She came to me with a serpent’s kiss
As the Eye of the Sun rose on her lips
Moonlight catches silver tears I cry
So we lay in a black embrace
And the seed is sown in a holy place
And I watched, and I waited for the dawnThe light of the blind
You’ll see
The venom that tears my spine
The Eyes of the Nile are opening
You’ll seeGoBind all of us together
Ablaze with hope and free
No storm or heavy weather
Will rock the boat you’ll see
The time has come to close your eyes
And still the wind and rain
For the one who will be king
Is the watcher in the ringIt is You, oh
It is You

December 2, 2020 0

The holy book

After Rirou’s walk through the COVID-420, a 40 day introspection Rirou finally finish writing the Rock-it-ology holy book. The way this new faith works is simple, everything from the heart is free. Rirou only charges the things he paid to learn, quite simple. Therefore, the holy book (e-book) is free, except the diet (last part).

HOLY BOOK – LOOKING GOOD NAKED

ROCK-IT-OLGY schedule:

Monday: A case of the Monday’s interview.

Tuesday: Star Punks Blog post.

Wednesday: English YouTube video from comedy to music.

Thursday off

Friday: Star Punks Blog post.

Saturday: Off

Sunday: Portuguese YouTube video.

Today is Wednesday so check out today’s video!

Punkaste,

Rirou

June 3, 2020 0

Day 20 of 40 – The gift of fatherhood, part 2

Continuing from part 1…

That year Rirou got his birthday gift earlier on June 6th when they went out to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Rirou’s wife got him a guitar cause Rirou had a goal of learning to play his favorite songs to Luke, after all he was always jamming in the womb.

The first song Rirou learned

Rirou made a goal of learning his first song before his birthday and before Luke birth. On his birthday, Rirou learned his first song in the guitar. Luke was born a month after Rirou got his guitar and guess what? Rirou did learn his first song before the birth.

Rirou sealed his strong connection with Luke in the first second of life. Luke was born with a physical challenge called Nemaline Myopathy and because of that Luke’s incarnation was a little difficult. Luke was born with an apgar number of 2 on a scale 1 to 10. When that happened the doula said that Luke need to hear a familiar voice and when Rirou said “Dad is here” Luke grabbed his finger and that was the only movement he did in the next 72 hours. Also, Luke’s first incubator in the NICU had been cleaned on Rirou’s birthday, that was mind blowing for Rirou.

Rirou notice that Luke absolutely loves music, and guess what Luke also loves rock and fast songs. He keeps asking Rirou to put fast songs and of course both of them goes nuts, having a lot of fun. Rirou always heard that this kind of songs were the devil song and that would take him straight to hell. That caused a lot of issues for Rirou.

Song from Rirou’s first album.

Rirou since very young age was a big fan of this type of song. To have an idea at the age of 7 Rirou exchanged a kids vynil that he got as a gift to an AC/DC. Now that was another mind blowing moment because Luke’s first favorite song is an AC/DC one….. To be continued!

Luke’s favorite AC/DC song

Feel Good,

Rirou

May 6, 2020 2

He has risen

After 40 days of isolation he has risen… the story is about this hero, well not actually a “hero”, but a “Rirou”. That was his nickname and when pronounced in Portuguese sounds exactly like hero. Rirou has always had a weird black and white dream that he was little, and everything around him was getting bigger and bigger, he would scream but nobody would listen. It felt like he was losing his soul in the dream. This dream kept reoccurring in his life, to a point he was afraid to sleep and dream that dream again.

On a Monday somewhere back in 2013 Rirou was already 33 years old and he was having another case of the Mondays. Like most Mondays, he got in the room for another therapy session.

This time was different. This time Rirou sat down and said to the therapist: “- Well, today you are going to talk. Can you please tell me my diagnosis?” All this year in therapy Rirou have never asked that question, because he was afraid. The therapist said: “ – Sure but can you tell me why?” He just replied: “- Nothing is real until you feel it, and in order to feel I need to hear it. I need to know that I am not crazy, and I need to know why the f*** I am back in the same f*** place as before” as he started to cry. That was the first time Rirou cried in therapy. After 10 minutes of intensive crying Rirou look to the therapist and said “The dream is true, I need my soul back. I want the red pill. I need to save me from myself”.

As the years went by Rirou was little by little reconnecting with his soul through writing, and when his son came along everything started to get more clear, after all Rirou always heard, when you become a parent you will understand. He got fully reunited with his soul, but he still didn’t understand. Well, he did understand, it wasn’t the way he was told. In fact, was the complete opposite.

One day while writing Rirou had an idea of creating a Religion out of spite. However, out of spite was not really Rirou cup of tea, after all he tries hard not to be an asshole; but the idea of creating a religion was very inspiring for him. So, he took the story of his life and made an “evil” plot to Punk the world.

Rirou had all figure it out, I mean his visions, his deja-vu, his signs, everything fitted like a beautiful puzzle. He was finally looking/feeling good naked, (Looking good naked is a matter of mind, body and soul) but he was still paralyzed due to his emotional issues. Yes, Rirou is a procrastinator. Well procrastination it is a side effect of depression, and part of Rirou’s depression is because he is a “sinner”, and now 7 years later after he took the red pill it all made sense.

Rirou had decided that 2020 was time for healing and started pretty well, but on March, Friday the 13^th(Friday 13^th has always been Rirou lucky day) the world went insane in the brain with the corona virus bringing a global existential crisis. The reality is that the global crisis has started way before that, but that day was when USA declared state of emergency and we all got in quarantine to avoid spreading the virus.

“God gave man the truth, the devil came along and said: “let me organize for you”
East Indian proverb

Rirou went on isolation, during this period the “devil” came along and whispered let’s organize your visions and take it to action. On day 40, the rocker that has risen, but there was a glitch in the matrix, the rocker dad is not a hero. That is ok, since his friends always sang to him, “we don’t need another hero”, and they were right, we don’t another hero, we need a punk. Now the punk is awake, the plot is organized, and he is naked and not afraid.

Now the story can be told….

Feel Good!

Rirou

April 16, 2020 0