Chapter 1: Am I evil?

Am I evil? That is a question that I had for my entire existence. Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. This thought started at a super early age for me, and it haunted me down, until I was 40 years old. Well, if I am honest, still does. Now the big question is why, and I hope you are ready to read, cause I am ready to talk.

Since an early age I was called evil for loving heavy metal, I heard many times and I said it here many times. What you didn’t know is that it felt like I was being crucified for my music taste. Because the minute I said I liked heavy metal I was automatic labeled as evil. As I said I was a sensitive kid, well I am a sensitive man. Now, why was I sensitive? Well, I had psychic abilities, very strong ones. I had a lot of deja-vus, intuitions, knowing things, and feeling things. What kid would not be get scared to say what he feels after being labeled evil from the get go. The worst part of all is being crucified without even hearing my side of the story. People assumed I was an anti-Christ, or this soulless person when people didn’t even knew what was going on, or even what I believed. So my fault was that I never said what I felt because of the fear of being evil.

Now, when Luke was born my sensibility came back up at the highest level. I have gotten him out of trouble so many times, and it was like I just knew it what to do. Lots of stories in my upcoming book. Crazy insane, I know, but true. I think there is a few stories during my 40 walk through the covid-420 that I mention some dots I connected . Ok, so now are you ready to talk about Jesus and God? LOL that is when it gets super interesting the story. Let’s go by part.

First of all, I had always believed that Jesus existed, he was a public figure for sure no doubt about it. I mean, people wrote a book about him. I just always believed the story was distorted, and I also knew that we don’t need Religion to connect with something higher. When Luke was born I went to do a Reiki session, and during this session guess who showed up in a form of vision? Well, if you guessed Jesus you are right. He paid me a visit. Not only once, but twice. The second time was in 2020 before before Amber was born on my meditation. Now you want to see where it gets even better? I not only seeing Jesus, but I also I saw Buddha, Krishna, and Lemmy (motorhead) and Chester (Linkin Park). I am not joking. Some people called channeling, I don’t know because I never intentionally tried, or learned, it just happened. Or this can simply be my fears, traumas and dreams in form of visualizations. All I know is that; as much as looney tunes as is sounds for you, it sounds for me as well.

Second, let’s talk about God. For me, it’s energy. You can only feel it, like love. You can only feel it and love is inclusive. Now, Religion with their so called fathers never really understood my love for music, they didn’t even tried to listen to my side of the story. Based on Religion we are all son’s of God and I was “different” and I was not included in his love due to my Love for the “devils song”. What kind of “father (priest)” is that, that can’t love a different child? Well what kind of love is that? I mean, they can only love you with a condition?

We usually have so many judgments about this type of music, and for the people that listen to it. The problem is that most people don’t even stop to listen to what they are singing about. Which a lot times those songs are a philosophical metaphor. Some people might not understand the metaphors, is ok. Is not for everyone, I get it. However those metaphors saved me and guided me my entire life, witch now makes sense with my “clairaudience mediumship.” Rock took me to a beautiful place called LOVE; and love is inclusive.

Well that is my biggest trauma, on my 40th birthday when I launched my very first punk song for kids I really thought that the my world was going to end if I did that. Fuck up, right? All this time I was afraid of being evil, just because of my love for Rock and Roll and because of my sensitivity that I couldn’t explain. Turns out, my sensitivity is a gift! Am I evil? Of course not! Does that makes me a better person? Hell no! However it does make me a bigger asshole since it proves my theory that the only way to escape hell is to “unlearn what you have learned”, so here we go:

  • Rock and Roll is good for the soul.
  • Punk is not dead, punk is Dad. Punk is the definition of love (inclusion).
  • Never grow up.
  • Weed is medicine, helps you understand and accept what you can’t control.
  • Coffee is medicine, to change the things you can control.
  • I honestly believe that the truth comes out in form of art. Because art it really touches your soul, and that many times causes crisis. I love crisis because it gets the best of us. Meaning you are the storm!

So, yeah LOVE ROCKS and I am a fool (or an asshole depends on the perspective), that believes in love; that decided to follow my childhood dream dreams; and a fool that learned about inclusion through punk rock. My friends used to sing to me, “we don’t need another hero”, (that was Rirou’s theme song when I was 8 years old) and is 100% right! We don’t need another hero, we need more PUNKS! I honestly believe is time to Religion do some shadow work, like Slayer said “Pay back is a bitch!” Conclusion fuck depression, let’s Rock! How? Simple, do what you want by making peace with your inner child and for that there is nothing better than music therapy. Join me and let’s rock this world!

Oh, and master Yoda, he is the man! Since I said the world is depress, and the big thing with depression is that most of us don’t even know we are depress. Solution? An inner child revolution! That is what I did! Anarchy with a discipline of an ironman!

Punkaste,

Rirou

Chapter 16: Hallowed be thy name

During my life I went through 3 majors transformations. First was the mind, second was the body and third was the soul. By far my favorite one is the soul, because is where my life really started to make sense. This phase started when we got pregnant with Luke, and got really intense after he was born. That is when I started to go deep into my soul.

When Luke was born we spent 84 days in the NICU, and during that time we went to many life changing experiences. The truth there is something magical about been between life and death, something really raw, which I believe is the ultimate human experience. During that time in the NICU I started to realize that everything I ever believed was truth and as a very sensitive person I was able to feel this to the max. For me, that is a true blessing. The funny part is that spirituality has always been my favorite topic to talk about it, but I never talked about it. Why? Because I never felt I had the right to talk, simply because most people already judged me from the get go. I was either considered evil for my music style, or a pothead, or a punk that was radical and against everything, in other words a rebel. I literally felt I had no right to talk about this stuff, which was pass to me since a very young age not to question things.

The first second Luke was born he woke up my soul and my empath “superpowers”. As an empath we literally can feel peoples energy, we know when they are lying, or genuine, or coming from a place of love. Hard to explain, but is true, is like the force in star wars. Luke made me start realizing that everything was connected.

After we left the NICU I did not think twice, I went to do my so dreamed Reiki course and became a Reiki master. Reiki is all about energy, just like your soul. I mean, we are made of energy. I went in search of more since I wanted to put my soul back together. The soul for me is like a mathematical equation, that you go solving throughout your life. After I became a reiki master I started put my soul back together, and that is when I was able to solve many parts of the equation. Which brought me to a conclusion that I was not alone. I have been guided my entire and also blessed in so many levels. Luke is the proof. But why me? Such an unholy man. I mean, that is what I always heard that from all the “holy” people. For years felt like I was cursed. Like I was a magnet for those cruel judgment. Again, as an empath you feel that so intensely.

After a lot of meditation combined with marijuana, which is what I use for spiritual reasons. For me marijuana ampliphies my emotions, and not numb them like many people think. For me, that was super numb, marijuana helps more than we can imagine because it help me see life beyond the trauma. During those meditations I see and feel many things and that is when I realized why not me? Who better then me to tell a real punk story, with a happy ending. That is when I confirmed that was not a curse, it is a blessing.

Again, another blessing. Why? Being able to tell a true story like that is simply everything I ever wanted and challenge the status quo once for all. Now in this blog I won’t ever use the word God for me this word is being misused to cause more abuse in my eyes. Instead, I talk about the punk force because I do believe we have a soul mission. Meaning we all have a personal misson in this life, and some of us have also a collective misson. But my point is, I believe that the real “God” is an energy and is inside of us. Is that sparkle of light, that intuition, that inner voice. When that is combined with love can achieve great things. The issue is, most people look for the outside for answers, because going within is hard as fuck. Stepping in a church, following a book and praying for forgiveness is a lot easier than going within feeling the pain and facing your demons.

Therefore, I stopped being a figugitive but I felt the need to clear my name since I am 40 years old and people keep judging me the same way for 40 years. Even people that knew me since I was a kid, so mine as well use all the labels possible in my favor. Therefore I decided to be the first ever Movitional Pothead to motivate people to look withih for their own answers and find their mission in this life. I hope I don’t end up in a cross!

Ain’t no fucking hero in this life, be your own!

Punkaste,

Rirou

Hallowed by thy name is the second iron maiden song I strated to learn. The number of the beast is the first one I learned, is not up to speed yet, but getting there.

I’m waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn’t have much time
‘Cause at 5 o’clock, they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low, yeah! When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me Can it be that there’s some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end, not some crazy dream? Somebody please tell me that I’m dreaming
It’s not easy to stop from screaming
The words escape me when I try to speak
Tears flow, but why am I crying
After all I’m not afraid of dying
Don’t I believe that there never is an end As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Somebody cries from a cell “God be with you”
If there’s a God then why has he let me go? As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I’m not sorry
Catch my soul, it’s willing to fly away Mark my words, believe my soul lives on
Don’t worry now that I have gone
I’ve gone beyond to seek the truth When you know that your time is close at hand
Maybe then you’ll begin to understand
Life down here is just a strange illusion
Yeah, hallowed be thy name
Yeah, hallowed by thy name
Yeah

Day 21 of 40 – The gift of fatherhood, part 3.

Continuing from part 2.

On September 2017 they were going through their second hurricane, and in order to escape they went to a friends house is Alabama. Breathing new airs for Rirou was extremely good cause he realized he was ready for a change.

The trip to Alabama was a very stressful trip and in order to keep the vibe of the family up Rirou was using a lot of music, specially with Luke. After Luke was born Rirou didn’t have much time to play the guitar, but on that trip to Alabama he got a Toy Guitar and started doing songs for Luke.

Rirou notice that music made Luke not only makes him happy but helped him move with the rhythm and he kept asking for faster songs. Moving fast is one of the key things to help overcome nemaline myopathy, since the muscle fibers affected are the fast twitch ones. Therefore an exercise with fast movements would definitely be beneficial. Rirou had always trained listening to Rock, that is where he performed the best. Another mind blowing moment for Rirou.

Rirou had no belief, but he knew it that he had a special connection with the universe. Every time Rirou needed guidance he would look you at stars, specially the moon. Rirou considered himself a moon child. During that trip, Rirou look to the skies over and over again, after all we all know Alabama is where the skies are so blue. Rirou had never felt so whole in his life, fatherhood is his biggest gift, his life purpose. Rirou believes in the stars and in the life force,after all he saw in the NICU but now he had proof that was writing in the stars.

The seed was planted now it was time to change, and the universe pointed to Colorado with a new opportunity. Another mind blowing moment, since Colorado was where they announced the name writing in the snow on February 2016. It was time to Run to the hills!

Now, is day 21 of Rirou’s walk to the desert and it is time for a change and start his project.

Feel Good,

Rirou

Day 4 of 40 – Missing church.

Sunday March 15th Rirou woke up and realized he would not be going to church that Sunday. Rirou every Sunday goes for rehearsal with his band, The Midlife Crisis. at the School of Rock Bloomfield. Well, due to corona virus they won’t be playing, and since Rock-it-ology is Rirou’s religion. He will have to miss church for the first time in almost one year.

You see Rirou have a long story with Religion, and one day out of spite he decided that he was going to create one, and he did. And he was thinking which position he would be. Meaning, he couldn’t play Jesus cause he is no Jedi. He could not be a priest because, because he is not that kind of man (you know what I mean). He could not be a Pope because he is not an asshole. All we know is, Rirou watches the world from the dark side of the moon and his history with Religion began long ago…

Somewhere way back in time, when Rirou was about 12 years old, the pope prohibit Iron Maiden from playing in Chile claiming they were satanic. Iron Maiden is Rirou’s favorite band, their music were like a symphony from God for Rirou. When Rirou saw that new on the TV news, he stood up and screamed: “Fucking asshole”. Well, Rirou got in trouble, and he did not understand why, because that Pope was an asshole. Plus he didn’t know why something that brings joy to people was considered evil? That made him mad, and when he got mad he cried. But he was told that boys couldn’t cry, and he needed swallow. He was angry and he couldn’t say it. You know what happens when don’t talk about your feelings and you numb them? Well, that is the perfect recipe for depression.

After, Luke was born Rirou process of reconnecting with his soul, that started in 2013, was speeding up exponentially. It was like his like his life was finally making sense, and his super powers were coming back. The punk was returning, and now he wants to leave his mark.

2020 came along and Rirou have a master plan set up, but he was not ready until that Sunday, that he missed church and went skateboarding in the parking lot. After the skate session a cold shower and a new set of pajamas, Rirou and his wife watched another episode of curb your enthusiasm, after Luke went to bed. On that episode Larry David open a coffee shop out of spite. Well, Rirou got inspired by Larry David and decided to get decide to work in his master plan to Punk the world.

and just like that Rirou’s “evil plot has just started. Rirou was not angry anymore, he was healing. To be continue…

A case of the Monday’s episode 1

One of the things Rirou created in his Religion is a space for artist around the globe, with the Case of the mondays episodes with an interview. The first one is Emilie Pnkmondon, an online radio punk show host. Check her interview: Click Here.

Feel Good,

Rirou

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑