About 2 weeks ago I started dreaming that Luke, my first born, was talking (he is almost 5 and non verbal). Anyways, I had this dream 3 nights in a row. Normally when that kind of stuff happens I don’t say a word, however since I am getting out of depression and gaining my voice, I told my wife and Luke about the dream. That is when things got weird.
A few days after I started to notice Luke using his talker more and his voice, but never mouth movement and sound together. Is usually one or the other. Until the other day when I was recording the Punkaste video, and my wife called me and said: -Come here, your dream is true!
When I arrived at the living room, Luke simply said “Ma” with sound and mouth movement and of course, I freaked out. A dream that became real shouldn’t freak me out, right? The issue is, it’s not the first time. My life is full of stories like that I just never really talked about it, and after Luke was born things got more intense.
This is actually pretty cool if it wasn’t for the fact that I was scared of my spirituality. This fear is what created my depression on the first place, so the fact that, I opened up with my wife about that and that I am here writing about it is fucking a HUGE step into my healing. Anyways, the crazy part is that I feel what Luke feels and vice-versa, so seems like my theory of the Dream of mirrors is true!
Speaking of dreams the one of me creating music is also true, and also the one of me writing my coaching philosophy as well, the inner child revolution guide. Those dreams along with a few other in my life (book is coming soon) are true. I am grateful that even scared as fuck I follow them.
And not so much of an asshole to be a Pope, or a priest. The truth is I am a punk rocker, have always been. Is like my wife told me the other day, is in your soul. That is the first P of P.O.P.E!
Now, one thing I am for sure is one of the kind. I could use all the spiritual labels here such as: indigo child, medium, empath (we will cover that soon), etc. But I prefer using more concrete terms. I think maybe arrogant is the right word. I mean, when I was 260 pounds smoking 2 pack of cigarettes a day I said: I will quit smoking, race ironmans professionally and write a book about it to motivate people. Pretty insane if not arrogant. Let’s say pretty fly for a white guy. Also because of my story and how life presented itself to me, I never really fitted in any type, shape or form.
P is for pothead. Yeah, man I am a pothead, like Snoop Dog style. The reality is I like pot and is one of the key things that helped with my depression. Because the reality is I was only able to write my book with pot. The pain was so big that I needed something for the pain, and Tylenol for doesn’t not work for the soul. Prozac does not make it better, makes you numb. Weed on other hand, amplifies. So, yeah I am pothead.
Empath this one is absolutely true and needs to start really be taken in consideration. This was my sensitivity, now is not sensitive in terms of not being able to handle a joke. Is sensitivity in terms of energy, is like you feel the whole thing around you. Sometimes is so strong and busy that you can’t even concentrate. A blessing and a curse. I believe we all got this, what many consider, super power. Maybe ones stronger then others, don’t know but I think we all got it.
The initial idea of the book was going to talk about diet, but the universe had bigger plans. I became a Dad, not only a Dad, Luke’s father. Luke’s birth to light another side of me that was getting brighter slowly, and Amber sped up the process.
The book was supposed to be coming out today but since writing about this have been easy at wall, I had to delay a few weeks. Now I talk about an innerchild revolution is the way out of depression, and since I like to lead by example: Here it is my innerchild revolution kick off; Rock-it-ology Television.
This first music video is one of the 7 songs of my first album of Punk Rock songs for kids, Star Punks. Everything in my innerchild revolution have a meaning, from the decorations to the songs, books, it’s all connected. The initial part is Luke’s favorite AC/DC song and is me overcoming my fear.
Rock-it-ology INC was founded on Halloween 2020, the year that everything changed for me (finally) and since this blog is all about an innerchild revolution, this is the first lesson (LOL). People will crucify you for anything in life, so Do what you want. I mean, what touches your soul. You cannot go wrong with that. The goal of Rock-it-ology INC is to raise awareness to mental health and nemaline through inclusion. That is why is set up as a Religion (I created my own out of spite), because inclusion is not rocket science, is Punk Wisdom. Inclusion is about reconizing that we are all souls.
Am I evil? That is a question that I had for my entire existence. Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. This thought started at a super early age for me, and it haunted me down, until I was 40 years old. Well, if I am honest, still does. Now the big question is why, and I hope you are ready to read, cause I am ready to talk.
Since an early age I was called evil for loving heavy metal, I heard many times and I said it here many times. What you didn’t know is that it felt like I was being crucified for my music taste. Because the minute I said I liked heavy metal I was automatic labeled as evil. As I said I was a sensitive kid, well I am a sensitive man. Now, why was I sensitive? Well, I had psychic abilities, very strong ones. I had a lot of deja-vus, intuitions, knowing things, and feeling things. What kid would not be get scared to say what he feels after being labeled evil from the get go. The worst part of all is being crucified without even hearing my side of the story. People assumed I was an anti-Christ, or this soulless person when people didn’t even knew what was going on, or even what I believed. So my fault was that I never said what I felt because of the fear of being evil.
Now, when Luke was born my sensibility came back up at the highest level. I have gotten him out of trouble so many times, and it was like I just knew it what to do. Lots of stories in my upcoming book. Crazy insane, I know, but true. I think there is a few stories during my 40 walk through the covid-420 that I mention some dots I connected . Ok, so now are you ready to talk about Jesus and God? LOL that is when it gets super interesting the story. Let’s go by part.
First of all, I had always believed that Jesus existed, he was a public figure for sure no doubt about it. I mean, people wrote a book about him. I just always believed the story was distorted, and I also knew that we don’t need Religion to connect with something higher. When Luke was born I went to do a Reiki session, and during this session guess who showed up in a form of vision? Well, if you guessed Jesus you are right. He paid me a visit. Not only once, but twice. The second time was in 2020 before before Amber was born on my meditation. Now you want to see where it gets even better? I not only seeing Jesus, but I also I saw Buddha, Krishna, and Lemmy (motorhead) and Chester (Linkin Park). I am not joking. Some people called channeling, I don’t know because I never intentionally tried, or learned, it just happened. Or this can simply be my fears, traumas and dreams in form of visualizations. All I know is that; as much as looney tunes as is sounds for you, it sounds for me as well.
Second, let’s talk about God. For me, it’s energy. You can only feel it, like love. You can only feel it and love is inclusive. Now, Religion with their so called fathers never really understood my love for music, they didn’t even tried to listen to my side of the story. Based on Religion we are all son’s of God and I was “different” and I was not included in his love due to my Love for the “devils song”. What kind of “father (priest)” is that, that can’t love a different child? Well what kind of love is that? I mean, they can only love you with a condition?
We usually have so many judgments about this type of music, and for the people that listen to it. The problem is that most people don’t even stop to listen to what they are singing about. Which a lot times those songs are a philosophical metaphor. Some people might not understand the metaphors, is ok. Is not for everyone, I get it. However those metaphors saved me and guided me my entire life, witch now makes sense with my “clairaudience mediumship.” Rock took me to a beautiful place called LOVE; and love is inclusive.
Well that is my biggest trauma, on my 40th birthday when I launched my very first punk song for kids I really thought that the my world was going to end if I did that. Fuck up, right? All this time I was afraid of being evil, just because of my love for Rock and Roll and because of my sensitivity that I couldn’t explain. Turns out, my sensitivity is a gift! Am I evil? Of course not! Does that makes me a better person? Hell no! However it does make me a bigger asshole since it proves my theory that the only way to escape hell is to “unlearn what you have learned”, so here we go:
Rock and Roll is good for the soul.
Punk is not dead, punk is Dad. Punk is the definition of love (inclusion).
Never grow up.
Weed is medicine, helps you understand and accept what you can’t control.
Coffee is medicine, to change the things you can control.
I honestly believe that the truth comes out in form of art. Because art it really touches your soul, and that many times causes crisis. I love crisis because it gets the best of us. Meaning you are the storm!
So, yeah LOVE ROCKS and I am a fool (or an asshole depends on the perspective), that believes in love; that decided to follow my childhood dream dreams; and a fool that learned about inclusion through punk rock. My friends used to sing to me, “we don’t need another hero”, (that was Rirou’s theme song when I was 8 years old) and is 100% right! We don’t need another hero, we need more PUNKS! I honestly believe is time to Religion do some shadow work, like Slayer said “Pay back is a bitch!” Conclusion fuck depression, let’s Rock! How? Simple, do what you want by making peace with your inner child and for that there is nothing better than music therapy. Join me and let’s rock this world!
Oh, and master Yoda, he is the man! Since I said the world is depress, and the big thing with depression is that most of us don’t even know we are depress. Solution? An inner child revolution! That is what I did! Anarchy with a discipline of an ironman!
I am Rirou the Punk! 