Day 34 of 40 – The thin line between love and hate

Wednesday April 15th, Rirou woke up that day thinking what he was going to talk in therapy. Rirou had gone to therapy last week and he thought he didn’t have much to talk about it, so the day went by as usual.

About one year ago Rirou arrived home from therapy and for the first time he was in a good mood after a therapy session. He arrived with his air guitar with the best “Angus Young” moves he knows. That is Rirou’s trademark at home, the “Angus Young” air guitar. Of course everyone looked confused, so he looked to the family and “I found my calling I joined a band”. They look even more confused because he did not know how to play the guitar neither how to sing. Maybe it is a midlife crisis after all. But Rirou completed, don’t worry is a school of Rock program, I gonna learn how to play and sing for fun and that was an instant relief.

Let’s be honest, what are the chances of becoming a rock star at 40? Not impossible, but it is very small. Plus, that was not the goal. In fact, it was not about making money or being famous. It was all about his soul, and that is how he started therapy that day.

Rirou told his therapist what he was doing and what he wanted to do, and he said “it’s not about the money”; she replied, “is about what then?” Rirou simply said is about how I feel. When she asked, and how you feel? Rirou answered so fast and automatically like it was not even him talking. It is crazy how the subconscious mind works. Rirou simple replied: “Like an asshole”. Right at that moment, Rirou’s matrix collapsed.

Rirou love art but the problem is that the art that he loves dearly is considered offensive for many, and in his subconscious mind he truly believed that he was an asshole and a sinner. After all, that is what he was thought his entire life.

Rirou look to his therapist, and simply said: “This is fucked up. I am fucked” and both laugh. “It is all in his mind” he said “I need to do something if I want my kids to feel worth it.” Rirou stayed quite for a few minutes crying, and he said “My Dad said I could be anything that I want, so I will become the biggest asshole. The biggest asshole by not being an asshole with myself anymore. I need to save me from myself. Is time to fire my guns!”

Rirou’s favorite song to air guitar

To be continued…

Feel Good,


Day 23 of 40 – The meaning of life

Day 23rd of Rirou’s COVID-19 isolation and his is things were getting clear by the day in his matrix, while the collective matrix was still a mess. Rirou was finally understanding his higher purpose, and that it’s what was missing in Rirou’s life. After Luke was born Rirou had a clear picture in his mind of the meaning of life, he now just needed a higher purpose.

Luke’s favorite song in the womb!

After coaching for so many years and so many different types of athletes, Rirou realized that all of them have the same goal of “Looking good naked”, including Rirou. After awhile Rirou realized that looking good naked was much more than just the mind and the body thing. Looking good naked was about how you feel when you look in the mirror and how you feel when you go lay down in bed.

Back in 2003 Rirou made an option for his life, the option of laying down in bed at night with a clear conscious. That is the main reason why Rirou did not take any drugs during his athlete career, and the reason why Rirou quit business school; he saw too much corruption on the low level and the highest level, that he did not want to be part of it. Rirou has always being a punk and he did not tolerate bullshit, and the older he gets the ability to tolerate get lower exponentially.

Back in 2013 Rirou’s crisis was more about the body, since he made the option in 2003 that he would sleep with a clear conscious he was feeling much better. In 2013 he had achieved his dream body with 160 pounds and 6% body fat, but he still didn’t feel like he looked good naked. So, Rirou went into a new revolution that went all the way up to 2018 when he ran to the hills. Rirou accepted his body.

Back 2016 Rirou did not have a crisis, he had an spiritual awakening that Luke brought to him. Luke brought Rirou something that no life coach, no religion, no parent, could have giving him, only a child can give, after all children are the biggest teachers in life.

Rirou finally realized the true meaning of looking good naked, and its about mind, body and soul. Looking good naked is the ability to feel good in your own skin!

Rirou is a moonchild and he believes in being the change he wishes to see in the world, and since the meaning of life is to look good naked; which is totally related to how you feel about yourself. Rirou, as a master punk, decided to get something that made him feel bad for years (Religion) and make one that is the complete opposite, a religion based on JOY! The collective matrix was going to an existential crisis with the COVID-19, so now was the perfect time to start writing about it.

Rirou was no longer a procrastinator, and now he was finally fulfilling his prophecy. He finally looking good naked.

Feel Good


Day 11 of 40 – Divine Intervention

Rirou woke up that Monday March 23rd feeling good, since Mondays are hard because it feels that the energy of the planet is heavy. He didn’t know why, maybe because 75%, or more, of the whole world hates Monday’s, or maybe was in his mind. Either was this time was different, Rirou felt good on a Monday.

The Monday went on as usual. Luke was restarting his therapies via tele-health, online school was going to start, and the new normal started to take place on a much slower pace, at least for now. However, Rirou was very surprised with the lack of a case of the Monday’s, maybe it was the lack of pajamas, or maybe he was really he was just Rising. The important thing is that he felt good.

Later on in the day, Rirou got the guitar and started jamming next to Luke and out of a sudden, like a divine intervention, a melody clicked and Luke open a big smile. When that happened felt like the time has stopped on a another big ass deja-vu. This was something Rirou was thinking about it for ages and now it seems like it was taking form.

Crazy how everything was starting to make sense for Rirou on a Monday. Rirou didn’t know if it was funny or ironic, however it really felt like a divine intervention telling him that he was in the right direction and that he should keep exploring that and fulfilling his destiny… To be continued.

Feel Good,


Today is Monday and Mondays we have the Case of the Mondays Episode. Today interview is with Keeana Martinez singer at Immigrants Child. Check it out here.

He has risen

After 40 days of isolation he has risen… the story is about this hero, well not actually a “hero”, but a “Rirou”. That was his nickname and when pronounced in Portuguese sounds exactly like hero. Rirou has always had a weird black and white dream that he was little, and everything around him was getting bigger and bigger, he would scream but nobody would listen. It felt like he was losing his soul in the dream. This dream kept reoccurring in his life, to a point he was afraid to sleep and dream that dream again.

On a Monday somewhere back in 2013 Rirou was already 33 years old and he was having another case of the Mondays. Like most Mondays, he got in the room for another therapy session.

This time was different. This time Rirou sat down and said to the therapist: “- Well, today you are going to talk. Can you please tell me my diagnosis?” All this year in therapy Rirou have never asked that question, because he was afraid. The therapist said: “ – Sure but can you tell me why?” He just replied: “- Nothing is real until you feel it, and in order to feel I need to hear it. I need to know that I am not crazy, and I need to know why the f*** I am back in the same f*** place as before” as he started to cry. That was the first time Rirou cried in therapy. After 10 minutes of intensive crying Rirou look to the therapist and said “The dream is true, I need my soul back. I want the red pill. I need to save me from myself”.

As the years went by Rirou was little by little reconnecting with his soul through writing, and when his son came along everything started to get more clear, after all Rirou always heard, when you become a parent you will understand. He got fully reunited with his soul, but he still didn’t understand. Well, he did understand, it wasn’t the way he was told. In fact, was the complete opposite.

One day while writing Rirou had an idea of creating a Religion out of spite. However, out of spite was not really Rirou cup of tea, after all he tries hard not to be an asshole; but the idea of creating a religion was very inspiring for him. So, he took the story of his life and made an “evil” plot to Punk the world.

Rirou had all figure it out, I mean his visions, his deja-vu, his signs, everything fitted like a beautiful puzzle. He was finally looking/feeling good naked, (Looking good naked is a matter of mind, body and soul) but he was still paralyzed due to his emotional issues. Yes, Rirou is a procrastinator. Well procrastination it is a side effect of depression, and part of Rirou’s depression is because he is a “sinner”, and now 7 years later after he took the red pill it all made sense.

Rirou had decided that 2020 was time for healing and started pretty well, but on March, Friday the 13th (Friday 13th has always been Rirou lucky day) the world went insane in the brain with the corona virus bringing a global existential crisis. The reality is that the global crisis has started way before that, but that day was when USA declared state of emergency and we all got in quarantine to avoid spreading the virus.

“God gave man the truth, the devil came along and said: “let me organize for you”

East Indian proverb
The “devil” whispering!

Rirou went on isolation, during this period the “devil” came along and whispered let’s organize your visions and take it to action. On day 40, the rocker that has risen, but there was a glitch in the matrix, the rocker dad is not a hero. That is ok, since his friends always sang to him, “we don’t need another hero”, and they were right, we don’t another hero, we need a punk. Now the punk is awake, the plot is organized, and he is naked and not afraid.

Now the story can be told….

Feel Good!


Blog at

Up ↑