A few years ago Rirou was tired of racing ironman and he felt the need to change and do something more meaningful. Rirou always heard that he had an ability to reinvent himself, even though is not really about reinventing himself, is more like a rebirth.
Rirou created this blog to share his journey with the hopes that might one day motivate someone. The whole idea of the blog is to talk about all aspects of life, specially mental health, music and fatherhood.
This week completes one year that Rirou joined school of rock to start learning a life time dream: Learn how to play the guitar and sing. Not only that, Rirou had an idea of creating punk rock songs for kids.
“It’s a rebirth” Rirou
Yes, is true Rirou transform himself. Well, he likes claim “it’s a rebirth”. On Saturday 6/13/20 the very first Rock-it-ology Punk rock song for kids got ready and Luke approved.
Rirou decided to launched his very first song next Sunday 06/21/20, his 40th birthday and father’s day. Stay tuned for the Rock-it-ology very first single this Sunday.
Speaking of father’s day, have you got your Rocker Dad shirt yet?
Also, check out the schedule of the blog in case you like the story.
Why chewbacca Monday? Well, it’s kind of motivation Monday, but since I stopped shaving my body I realized I have so much hair that I am like Chewbacca. Sorry is too much information, but its the reality.
It was 15 min to midnight during the winter solstice in the south hemisphere of the planet earth, the moon was waxing gibbous when Rirou, the punk, was born. Rirou is considered a sensitive soul, or what many call nowadays an empath personality. Rirou has always been fascinated by the moon, since little he always looked up to the for answers. Somehow he feels he is related to the moon, but mostly the dark side of the moon, that is why he considered himself a moonchild.
Rirou had a passion for heavy metal music, he loved Iron Maiden and guitars, specially air guitars. He also loved skateboarding, and according to family history he was on top of the skateboard at around 2 years old. Around 7 years old he got an vinyl as present, but it was a kids music vinyl, so he exchanged to an ACDC vinyl, the fly on the wall. He loved the fact bee ass on the back of the vinyl.
Rirou has always being a punk, and around 12 years old he called the Pope an asshole for not allowing Iron Maiden to play in Chile. Rirou started to get angry, because he did not understand how a man could determinate who could or not enjoy something. That made him sad, and made him cry many times.
Also as a sensitive soul Rirou did not really understood many things that he felt, since that some of those feelings were not necessarily his. According to studies empath can feel the energy and emotions around them, and with Rirou was not different. And that made him cry even more. How much he cried? A lot, in fact, he cried so much that everyone sang this song to him:
Rirou, like many other kids, was thought that boys didn’t cry, and that he needed to swallow his feelings. He needed to be a man, a “real man.” Well, he did exactly that, he started to swallow his feelings, and he started to numb them with food. Instead of crying, talking or even accessing his feelings he started to eat, and that started a whole new set of issues.
Rirou started to feel really bad about himself, because the music he loved dearly was considered the devil music, and skateboarding was considered a crime, even though those things made him feel good. They made him feel alive, but everything else around him said the opposite. So he started to think that everything was wrong with him, and that he was not allowed to feel good.
Rirou started to eat compulsively, and within a few years he was having weight issues so, besides “being a sensitive kid”, he was now the “chubby sensitive child”. By 13 years old Rirou was completely numb and started shaving his head totally opposite of what he wanted (he wanted long hair like the maiden guys). Confused Rirou started to started dieting after he read the book “So e gordo quem quer”, which the translation is “You are only fat because you want”. He also started to exercise insanity, sometimes 3 times a day and he started to become obsessed with his body imagine, and that is when he joined a basketball team…
After Rirou’s walk through the COVID-420, a 40 day introspection Rirou finally finish writing the Rock-it-ology holy book. The way this new faith works is simple, everything from the heart is free. Rirou only charges the things he paid to learn, quite simple. Therefore, the holy book (e-book) is free, except the diet (last part).
Friday April 17th Rirou’s walk through the COVID-420 quarantine is coming to his final day, but who is Rirou after all?
In his daily meditation he often ask “who am I?, am I Rirou or Rirou is me?” During his meditations he found out that Rirou is a disturbed modern cavemen, he learned how to suppress his emotions in Portuguese, but learned how to express them in English. The result of that is a glitch in his matrix, making Rirou even more disturbed.
Rirou wanted to punk the world with a really disturbed idea. Rirou learned that in order to make any change he needed get to the root of the issue. In therapy is well known that in order for healing to happen, we must heal our inner child, and that is what is all about, but why?
Well, the meaning of life is to look good naked which simply means being conformable in your own skin. Rirou realized in order to teach his kids to look good naked he needed to look good naked himself. Is like the song from Rirou favorite Offspring album, “Way down the line”, in that song the lyrics says “Nothing changes cause its all the same… there is a chain there is never broken…”. Rirou wanted to break that chain, because he knows it that you can’t pour from an empty cup and in order to empower his kids to look good naked he needed to do that same.
Rirou decided to fight the evil forces that made him feel like an asshole. Yes, he became the pope of his own Religion and created “The not so fashion show” to spread his wisdom worldwide. Rirou is either a genius or totally insane, but he knows one thing for sure, he is extremely disturbed….Rirou is simply Richard higher self, no pun intended…
Thou shalt face your demons is Rirou’s favorite punk rule, and in fact that was Rirou’s true essence of his coaching back in the days. That is what made him a good coach.
After Luke was born Rirou indeed wanted to share his coaching but Rirou is different, he likes to keep it real. Which can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. Rirou always said to his athlete before an ironman: “You will face all your demons during the race”, yes an odd thing to say, especially before a race like an ironman. However, that is the truth, an ironman is a race that can take from 8 to 17 hours, and that leaves you 8 to 17 hours with just you and your thoughts. So, by all means you will face your demons.
Every time Rirou have one of those WTF moments in therapy he says “oh shit, that is so fucked up” and they laugh. If you ever been to therapy you know most therapist don’t laugh, but with Rirou was always different. He made made her laugh because he saw how ironic it was that he was trapped in him own matrix. Those ironies of life made him laugh, and that week Rirou had another WTF moment. He was getting ready to face his biggest demons.
The COVID-420, a 40 day full introspection was preparing him to face his biggest demons. Rirou had face many of his demons during his 18 ironmans, but not he was getting to the bottom on how he felt all this time.
The shit is deep, and the reality is you can’t run away otherwise the shit gets deeper. You have to face it. We all have our sets of demons, and the secret for happiness is to face them. That is the 4th punk rule!
Rirou woke up that Monday March 29th ready to start writing the Rock-it-ology prophecy. He had finally found his calling, and it was time to fulfill his soul. He had so much things to say, and in the last 18 days he was organizing his visions with his “friend” Taz (the “devil”).
Rirou loves the number 18, for a few reasons. First, thenumerology of number 18 deals with humanitarianism, independence, and building something of lasting benefit. Second, in numerology we usually add each number, for example how we calculate the number 18 is 1+8=9, and Rirou birth number gives him the number 9 in numerology. The number 9 meaning is wisdom and responsibility, and the ultimate goal of the number 9 is to serve humanity. Third, Rirou lost his soul by the end of his 18th loop around the sun. Fourth, Rirou’s favorite song every made in history is 666 the number of the beast, and 6+6+6= 18. Fifth, Rirou got his soul back when he turned 36, well 3+6=9 and 18 x 2= 36! Rirou just blew his mind, Rock-it-ology was written in the stars.
Rirou decided to tell his story using life metaphors and ironies, and as a master punk Rirou loves to challenge the status quo. He thrives in that, and that makes him happy. If you think about it, what would challenge a status quo more than a man talking about feelings? or a growing man empowering his inner child? Yes, not much but Rirou wanted more, he wanted to push the limits. Rirou and Taz put together a religion, after all the story is writing in the stars, and here is how they organized the Rock-it-ology religion as:
The Star Punks
Not another hero
Depression strikes back
The punk awakens
The return of the punk
The rise of the rocker Dad
The story is starts at the Punk awakens then we go back in time to see how Rirou becomes, The Master Punk.
We often think that a spiritual awakening is an easy process, however an spiritual awakening is just LIFE, and life includes the good, the bad and the ugly. Rirou’s awakening process sped up back in January 2016 when Luke was still in the womb and Rirou wrote the first email for Luke.
Day 8 of 40, Rirou woke up inspired because it was Friday and on Fridays Rirou have guitar class at the school of Rock where he attends pre-school. Well, that Friday march 20th Rirou was doing the his first online class. Rirou was super pumped, after all Rock and Roll saved his soul.
When Rirou decided to become a Dad he said to his wife “I do not want to pass my baggage to my kids”, since then Rirou has been working hard in his healing. Rirou did not want an angry or depress that, and he also wanted to make things differently. He wanted to be a present, happy and fun Dad. Rirou became a Dad of an incredible soul, extremely emphatic, with true super power: a smile that can melt the hardest heart.
Rirou and Luke share a very strong connection through music, that started very early when Rirou used to play his favorite songs to Luke in the belly and he would move like crazy, just like he does now when he listen to music now (Luke has an incredible rhythm) . During the pregnancy Rirou created an email for Luke where he wrote him a feel times, so Luke could read later on in life what was going on. All the emails contained something about music. After all, Rock touches Rirou’s soul in an incredible way, and having a child is probably the biggest spiritual experience someone can have.
Rirou got a guitar for his 36th birthday, from his wife and he made a goal of learning his favorite songs to play for Luke. He learned the first one before Luke was born and every time he practice Luke would move in the belly. One day right before Rirou’s 39th birthday he left the therapy session that day and stopped at the school of Rock and signed up for guitar lessons and adult band program. It’s not like Rirou wanted to be a rock star. He just wanted to be happy and that is what it means to be a Punk! Being a punk is a matter of “Looking good naked”, is the ability to feel good in own skin, and that requires a healthy mind, body and soul.
Rirou knew it that if he didn’t look good naked, he could not teach Luke on how to look good naked either. Rirou always believed in leading by example something he learned being an athlete and coach for so many years. Also, studies claim that emphatic people are like humans lie detector, and Rirou did not wanted to lie to his kids. He is not that kind of man. Rirou being a athlete/coach learned a lot about mind (overcoming limits) and body health (nutrition), but now it was time to explore the side that was buried for years… It was time to get his soul healthy, It was time to feel good in his own skin, it was a time to be a Punk!
Rirou woke up on Thursday march 19th feeling like he took 100 pounds of his back, he knows because he lost 100 pounds before, but that is another story. He look in the mirror and smiled, that was a good feeling, he was feeling good. Rirou has always believed in energy, and he did a became a Reiki master after Luke was born, something he wanted to do since 2012. For some reason Rirou has always be attracted to those things such as energy work, because Rirou was sensitive, meaning he have an empath personality.
During his Reiki class he learned that Reiki could potentially re-align yourself with your life purpose, something that Rirou like to call as soul contract. Anyways, he kept going on his Thursday and having lots of fun with Luke, listening to music, dancing, like a typical Thursday. However, they were inside most of the time due to the covid-19 lock down.
Later that day Rirou went to his cave in the garage and he saw all his projects sitting there looking at him. His cave was messy, just like his head. Sure, he felt lighter but his head was messy, just like his cave. It’s weird, because with the weight Rirou could not see that, but now it was clear.
Rirou felt the energy in his cave and it needed to be moved around. The energy was stuck and his projects were talking to his soul, just like in the dream: It’s time to act, and guess what? At that moment Rirou just had another Deja-vu. He started organizing his cave and his visions were getting even more clear.
Rirou always heard in portuguese “voce so faz arte” and if you translate is “you only do art”, but the real meaning is that you are being a Punk, but Punk in this definition:
But being a punk is not like that, and rock was not the devil song. In fact, Rock (specially punk rock) have saved Rirou’s soul. Rirou was no longer angry, and he was ready to teach the ways of the Punk. Rirou was ready to fulfill his destiny, Rirou was ready to rise and his plot to Punk the world just needed to be organized in his head so he could listen to his soul and escape the matrix. He needed to start in the physical level. After all, it’s all connected; the mind, the body, the soul, and the environment. The punk force was strong in Rirou again, a force that he always had it, and Luke brought Rirou the inspiration to teach the ways of the punk…after all the story was already writing in the stars.
Rirou woke up Thursday morning March 12th with an emotional hangover, since once a month on Wednesday Rirou goes to therapy, and it was that time of the month. Funny how Rirou’s mind works like a clock. Every month is the same thing, a week before a therapy session some feelings always flourish. I guess is the male version of having a period. It’s like every month Rirou’s have one of those life ah-ha moments, but an emotional/spiritual ah-ha moment. Like a spiritual awakening.
That Wednesday night during therapy Rirou have uncovered another big ah-ha moment. This time was different because he was attacking the core of the issue of the matrix. The matrix works in layers, and each one of them is an emotional ah-ha moment that brings a lot of discomfort. Discomfort is the side effect of the red pill, and you take the red pill there is no turning back, you must go down the habit hole.
The day after an ah-ha moment is like you are hangover from a big night of drinking. You are confused and you need to wait for the sensorial overload to lower so you can clear your mind and understand what’s going on. The truth is healing is painful, and sometimes you need to go into the darkness in order to see the light. Healing requires courage because there is no heaven without a hell, and you need to go through that emotional hell in order to see the light. Rirou has been in the dark for so long, just like in his old dreams, however this time he was starting to see the light. Things were not as big as they were before, and what’s better he was able to identify the “things”. Those “things” were a pure reflection of his warped mind reflecting back at him, with evil faces twisting his mind and bringing him to despair.
During this time the world was going insane in the brain with the corona virus pandemic forcing people into quarantine in their house. Rirou was already 1 week in quarantine, meaning life had slow down a lot, and Rirou was pretty much living in his pajamas, after all it was pre therapy week (PTW, the male version of PMS), and Rirou was having one of those weeks. The world was slowing down but Rirou’s mind was still at speed of light. With the world was going insane, and the sensorial overload super high so it was harder to clear your mind. That morning Rirou went to take his emotional support dog for his morning walk and he had a small memory of that dream he had that night. He remembered something or somebody whispering, “it’s time to act”.
Rirou was curious about the dream, but he didn’t know what it all meant. Was that another life metaphor telling him to act? Was that the end of his world as he knew it? He just knew it that something needed to be done, perhaps he just needed to clear his mind.