This past full moon the energy was strong but at the same time different. The energy felt like I was releasing so much old shit, like the energy totally change. Like a complete shift. At least for me.
I mean I finally got into the acceptance of my sensitivity. Truth is the moon has always affected me and that used to scared me, a lot. Let’s say, a small fear of the dark. However, at the age of 33 I started to search for this, and things intesified after I became a Luke’s Dad.
This pass full moon everything shift, I mean literally everything. But not because I understand. Actually, about life all I know is I know nothing. All I know is the places I have been, which was a lot, let’s say hell ain’t a bad place to be. Yeah, I have been there too. Anyways, what shift was that I no longer fear my sensitivity, instead I rock it.
The best part of all is that I was able to teach Luke not to fear that. I mean, this full moon he felt a lot, he was crying for an hour. Similar to me as a kid, but on that time, I was told boys didn’t cry, oh well, shit happens! So, I took him out side to see the moon, feel the energy, meditate, small reiki session,a talk and music with Bob Marley (me singing). He finally stopped crying right away and slept.
That was a great feeling knowing that the history doesn’t need to repeat itself. My kids won’t fear their sensitivity, I know that because at his age I used to dream about going into a really dark place (that is what judgement do). A place I was small as an ant, Luke wakes up and tells me he dreamed with sun and fans. I make sure I ask him every what was dreams with. That for me is a huge win in the parenting territory for me, because the truth is if I have any talent in this life being a Dad is definitely one.
Note: This is weekend is the weekend for strength for nemaline myopathy Luke’s physical challenge in life, if possible consider giving a donation for nemaline myopathy research, science is very close to finding therapies.
And not so much of an asshole to be a Pope, or a priest. The truth is I am a punk rocker, have always been. Is like my wife told me the other day, is in your soul. That is the first P of P.O.P.E!
Now, one thing I am for sure is one of the kind. I could use all the spiritual labels here such as: indigo child, medium, empath (we will cover that soon), etc. But I prefer using more concrete terms. I think maybe arrogant is the right word. I mean, when I was 260 pounds smoking 2 pack of cigarettes a day I said: I will quit smoking, race ironmans professionally and write a book about it to motivate people. Pretty insane if not arrogant. Let’s say pretty fly for a white guy. Also because of my story and how life presented itself to me, I never really fitted in any type, shape or form.
P is for pothead. Yeah, man I am a pothead, like Snoop Dog style. The reality is I like pot and is one of the key things that helped with my depression. Because the reality is I was only able to write my book with pot. The pain was so big that I needed something for the pain, and Tylenol for doesn’t not work for the soul. Prozac does not make it better, makes you numb. Weed on other hand, amplifies. So, yeah I am pothead.
Empath this one is absolutely true and needs to start really be taken in consideration. This was my sensitivity, now is not sensitive in terms of not being able to handle a joke. Is sensitivity in terms of energy, is like you feel the whole thing around you. Sometimes is so strong and busy that you can’t even concentrate. A blessing and a curse. I believe we all got this, what many consider, super power. Maybe ones stronger then others, don’t know but I think we all got it.
The initial idea of the book was going to talk about diet, but the universe had bigger plans. I became a Dad, not only a Dad, Luke’s father. Luke’s birth to light another side of me that was getting brighter slowly, and Amber sped up the process.
The book was supposed to be coming out today but since writing about this have been easy at wall, I had to delay a few weeks. Now I talk about an innerchild revolution is the way out of depression, and since I like to lead by example: Here it is my innerchild revolution kick off; Rock-it-ology Television.
This first music video is one of the 7 songs of my first album of Punk Rock songs for kids, Star Punks. Everything in my innerchild revolution have a meaning, from the decorations to the songs, books, it’s all connected. The initial part is Luke’s favorite AC/DC song and is me overcoming my fear.
Rock-it-ology INC was founded on Halloween 2020, the year that everything changed for me (finally) and since this blog is all about an innerchild revolution, this is the first lesson (LOL). People will crucify you for anything in life, so Do what you want. I mean, what touches your soul. You cannot go wrong with that. The goal of Rock-it-ology INC is to raise awareness to mental health and nemaline through inclusion. That is why is set up as a Religion (I created my own out of spite), because inclusion is not rocket science, is Punk Wisdom. Inclusion is about reconizing that we are all souls.
Here it is the first chapter of my book with the release on EASTER 2021!
It was a recurring dream. Buildings, trees, and people stretched in size in a fraction of a second while I shrunk. All that grew in me was the despair of not being heard in that distorted world. My screams echoed through the giant legs of my parents and brothers, but did not reach the parabolic ears. The worst was realizing that they didn't miss me. Family members, friends and colleagues showed no concern for my whereabouts, as if there had never been a Richard Wygand in their lives.
When I remember the loneliness I carried in my chest when I awoke from the nightmare, I feel deep compassion for that frightened boy.
Ah, Rirou, my man! How I wanted to be able to go back in time and hug you. Sit next to me and say that a man cries too and that you can cry when you feel like it. I was also going to teach you that you can say what you feel and listen to the music that moves you. Heavy metal, punk rock, reggae, samba. Does not matter. Try all styles, kid, that's what I was going to defend. Then, I would invite you to go skateboarding until the sun meets the sea in Rio de Janeiro.
A meeting like this could take away that bad dream from the lonely room of the apartment at Cosme Velho, in Laranjeiras, once I lived my childhood and pre-adolescence as the beginning of a trio of energetic boys, children of a marriage that ended when I was 3 years old.
We lived with my mother and grandparents in a middle-class condominium that was two kilometers from Christ the Redeemer, a symbol of faith similar to the giants that drowned out my pleas for help while sleeping.
It took me decades to realize that waking up from that nightmare didn't mean relief. My voice also did not find any attentive ears in the real world and, just like in the dream, I kept shrinking until I became an introverted, depressed child, with binge eating and bursting with aggression.
In the first fight at school, I remember crying. My colleagues didn't understand anything, because I had hit the boy. The disagreement started with a soccer crash, a trigger to vent the toxic masculinity that many men carry. The boy cursed me, I snapped, and he tried to kick me. As I was already beaten by two much bigger than me, I managed to defend myself. I reacted by reflex, grabbed my leg, swiped the other for support, and my colleague fell on his back, running out of air. We still clung to the floor and I started punching him, while crying.
I cried a lot until I was 7 years old. Any change in a place’s energy or a person’s mood was enough to tighten my grip. Soon, thick tears were streaming down her face. My brothers, their friends and my own made fun of me when I reacted crying to a disagreement on the playground or suffering from a stupid joke. I remember singing “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure and laughing in my face. As any child would, I ran to the nearest adult who could protect and comfort me from that tightness in my chest. But the giants did not seem to hear the little one and preferred to ignore what was happening to me. So, after hearing so much that I was a big boy and that a boy shouldn’t cry, I ended up learning to swallow my tears and hide my feelings. Ah, Rirou, my man! It didn’t have to be that way. Yes, a man cries, and it is very good to cry, see? Several generations of boys have been manufactured by this violent way of relating to themselves, to others and to the environment in which they live. The result was billions of insecure, frustrated, depressed, unhappy and destructive men.
After 33 years and thousands of kilometers traveled, after countless therapy sessions, of all kinds, and meeting wonderful beings that allowed me to conquer the freedom to enjoy my pleasures without censorship, I can say that I am closer to healing than who never imagined little Richard Wygand, so frightened in his world of oppressive giants.
In that unlikely encounter, in addition to comforting you from the bad dream, I would show that the Rirou 2020 version has grown enough to face the internal and external monsters. I'm sure he would be proud to know that in the future he would become an accomplished man, husband and father.
Such a return to time would be so incredible and important that I would not hesitate to tell you that we are now strong enough to declare war on the greatest dehumanizing of human creations: the Roman Apostolic Catholic Church.
Yes, because I do not blame my parents or grandparents, nor any adult who contributed to my education. My mother, poor thing, recently divorced, trying to return to the job market, without time to watch three big guys. In that chaos, saying that a man doesn't cry was the easiest way to create a shell on me to withstand the world outside.
The problem is that out there was a society based on religious principles, poisoned by limiting truths about what is right and wrong and ignorant enough to threaten children to hell just for not following Christian moral standards to a T.
Swallowing my feelings was the first armor I was put on to deal with the world of real giants, but no one protected me to absorb the raised fingers in my direction who thought I was a bad boy for listening to heavy metal, punk rock or skateboarding.
I was eight years old when I heard from a friend of my brother that the Slayer undead poster, which he had in his room, was the certificate that the final judgment would not be easy for us rock'n roll lovers.
"You listen to these songs of the devil, know that Jesus is going to return with a train, take whoever believes in him, and burn everything else," was what he said.
For those who liked the style, like the three of us at home, hearing that sentence caused me a lot of fear. That boy knew something that I didn't know. I could be right, I don't know.
Unable to cry and terrified of suffering the judgment of others for being who I wanted to be, I ended up withdrawing until I deserved a good guy pat on the head.
The reward came in calories. I devoured all the food I saw in front of me. Half a packet of white bread with honey or ketchup was a common snack in my afternoons. At birthday parties, no one exceeded my count in the number of hot dogs.
Overweight, at the age of 7, I became a boy who knew he was a good person, but who anesthetized himself with sodium and sugar to fall asleep without fear and guilt. The worst of it is that none of this saved me from encountering the giants and loneliness in a nightmare.
I am Rirou the Punk, and I declare December 21st 2020, The Official Punkaste Day!
During this 4 years and 6 month since Luke was born, I confirmed what I already knew it: The way out of depression is with joy and purpose. 2020 is the year where I turned 40 and also the year I connected the dots in my life, marking this a rebirth. I picked this day for many reasons, but mainly is that I was in Brazil on the winter solstice the darkest day of the year. Therefore it makes sense to do this on the darkest day of the year the place I made my home. Well, this time is the darkest day of the year but with a huge light in the sky! Coincidence?
Sarcasm apart, I did connect the dots in 2020. After, I went to that full moon drum circle where I heard about the my possible mediumship, I finally started to talk more about that in my therapy sessions. That is when my therapist told me to go talk to her friend, Leslie the Good Witch. This is when things started to get interesting. So, I went to see her and we talk over 1 hour between tarot cards, astral maps and singing bowls. After the session she gave me a copy of The Celestine Prophecy book, and said “I was guided to give this book to you”. Anyways, life got crazy and I didn’t read the book until 2020 happened.
The other day the book pop up in my mind when I was passing by the office. I mean, it caught my attention and that same day I was talking to a childhood friend, and famous psychiatrist in Brazil, about religion and spirituality. That day I explained to him what I felt in my meditations, so it was a deep conversation. 2 days later YouTube suggested me The Celestine prophecy, so I thought “I guess is time to either read or watch the movie.” Well, I pressed play and boy, the movie is exactly the feeling I described to my friend. That feeling is the same one I get with music.
Now to add to it, in one of my talks with Leslie in 2020 she told me, “I am pretty sure you are an indigo child“. Well, I knew that since 2012, so she just confirmed me. Some people claim that indigo children have a collective purpose as well as personal one. Since I have always being attracted to this exoteric world, so it was super easy to go look it up indigo child purpose on the internet. I found a few things, including exercises that helps connect the dots, and that is when I found my joy, purpose and talents. Well, one of my talents is transform kids songs into punk rock songs which leads me to the mission of building an army of punk rockers. Divine intervention?
Genius or Insane I still don’t know, all I know all this stuff really happened and made my life make sense. Also, I was born with an artistic mind. Both of them explains my sensitivity in different ways. All I know is that I have tremendous joy in listening and doing music, that is how my love comes out. I also know that when I do that I can spread that love to my family being a present husband and Dad… and Nothing Else really Matters after that! Well, it actually does matter because Love is contagious and Love rocks, and I believe in Love!
I feel like a villain, like Drew from Minions, that can transform kids songs into punk rock. The difference in cartoons is that nothing works out for the villain, when for me is the opposite, when I embraced that side of mine, I started to heal myself!
Not is not Neo, Morpheus or Jesus, is just the return of the Punk. Rirou indeed wanted to share his story and do life coaching, he got certified and all. However, Rirou as a master punk wanted to do his way, and his way has always been quite different after all Rirou is different; and it’s ok to be different. So, Rirou simply said “I gonna be the opposite of every life coach out there”.
Life is about attitude, and the only magical formula is to follow your heart. So, Rirou never understood how many people claimed to have a magical formula if the only formula is to follow your heart and everyone is different. Anything other than following your heart is simply a formula for disaster, and Rirou knows because he tried. He tried so many times to fit in a box, but it just did not work.
Rirou got a lot of baggage (depression) by trying to fit in the box, since now is time to heal he came with a plan that would combine his inner child dreams and his adult dreams. If everybody wants to rule the world, Rirou wanted to Punk the world, so he created “The not so fashion show” where he could spread his wisdom.
PUNK THE WORLD
Rirou’s called his coaching method the art and science of life, that was actually the name of his last presentation. The science was simple, pure math and the art is from the heart and his art is what made the difference between him and other coaches. Rirou wanted to share his art, that many believed was an art to reinvent yourself, but the truth is that is the art of reconnecting with your soul. So, I present you the not so fashion show:
The blog is the story of Rirou’s life.
Life is a show, a show that includes the good, the bad and the ugly.
Life is all about attitude, feelings and dreams. Rirou’s attitude was always Punk attitude, something he called the art of not working (do what you love and you will never work a day in life).
Rirou wanted to heal himself and also share his wisdom so he applied his own coaching methodology to himself. A mixture of a kids dream and an adult dream. As a kid Rirou’s dream was to learn the guitar, and as an adult his dream was to coach for free and Punk (change) the world. He always believed if people follow their heart to world indeed would be different. He decided to share his wisdom in the following format:
The good: His jokes are pretty good and insightful.
The bad: His guitar playing. Is pretty bad now but since his started playing Rirou really started to love himself, and getting better is a matter of time. Just like he did with Ironman and he end up winning one.
The ugly: His singing is pretty bad, but also can get better (or not!). Either way is fun and is helpful. Is a metaphor of Rirou finding his voice.
The YouTube channel, Rirou the punk have three shows that consist in:
Stand up comedy. In portuguese from now, but there is comedy in English on his blog, a satire from on the session “How not to be an asshole”.
Midlife crisis TV with song covers, skateboarding and reality show.
Talk show, but is still in the process, but in the blog there is the “case of the Mondays” interviews.
Now the final question is, why a religion? Well that is Rirou’s sin. He took it personally, but is also a dream to change the world. In order to do that we must go to the core of the issue, and Rirou believed that religion is the core of the issue, at least for him since in his matrix Religion is a big issue.
This project is runs on coffee, and if this inverted life coaching truly touches your heart you can buy Rirou a coffee (is not a donation). The message must truly touches your soul, meaning that you have been thunderstruck, to a point that you can see in your bank statement $6.66. Remember, what you do in this life echoes in the eternity. The project is run under the Go Luke Wygand Foundation INC a non profit organization, and when the cup over flows the profits are donated to Nemaline myopathy Research and mental health programs.
Rirou is either a genius or completly insane! Either way he will find out soon on later!