Chapter 12: Full Moon
This past full moon the energy was strong but at the same time different. The energy felt like I was releasing so much old shit, like the energy totally change. Like a complete shift. At least for me.
I mean I finally got into the acceptance of my sensitivity. Truth is the moon has always affected me and that used to scared me, a lot. Let’s say, a small fear of the dark. However, at the age of 33 I started to search for this, and things intesified after I became a Luke’s Dad.
This pass full moon everything shift, I mean literally everything. But not because I understand. Actually, about life all I know is I know nothing. All I know is the places I have been, which was a lot, let’s say hell ain’t a bad place to be. Yeah, I have been there too. Anyways, what shift was that I no longer fear my sensitivity, instead I rock it.
The best part of all is that I was able to teach Luke not to fear that. I mean, this full moon he felt a lot, he was crying for an hour. Similar to me as a kid, but on that time, I was told boys didn’t cry, oh well, shit happens! So, I took him out side to see the moon, feel the energy, meditate, small reiki session,a talk and music with Bob Marley (me singing). He finally stopped crying right away and slept.
That was a great feeling knowing that the history doesn’t need to repeat itself. My kids won’t fear their sensitivity, I know that because at his age I used to dream about going into a really dark place (that is what judgement do). A place I was small as an ant, Luke wakes up and tells me he dreamed with sun and fans. I make sure I ask him every what was dreams with. That for me is a huge win in the parenting territory for me, because the truth is if I have any talent in this life being a Dad is definitely one.
Note: This is weekend is the weekend for strength for nemaline myopathy Luke’s physical challenge in life, if possible consider giving a donation for nemaline myopathy research, science is very close to finding therapies.
Chapter 11: Be a punk
When I first step on a stage exclusively to sing a song I was almost 40 years old. Not going to lie, I was nervous as fuck of course because any artist would be, the same way I was nervous for all my ironmans. However this time was different, I was in fear. Fear because all of that had a meaning to me, like a metaphor. But thanks to weed, I able to chill and thanks to coffee I had the energy to do it as well. Which by that way, I just learned this is called Hippie speed ball! LOL!
The metaphor is simple, singing represents gaining my voice. So, in a way that show was my step out of depression something I have been dealing with for a long time now. Something that started around 7 years old with guilt, that I carried for years without even realizing. Anyways, that is a long story that became a book. Now, there is a sentence in the song I sang “all apologies by nirvana ” that really touch my soul: “Everything is my fault”. That explains everything in depression, at least in my depression. For ages, I really thought everything was my fault, and I never even had a chance to defend myself. I had no voice, I couldn’t speak, I was afraid of speaking. Now, I can recognize and deal with it using my “voice”. So yeah, that was a huge night for me, and I was only able to do so because I am a punk.
I have so many reasons why I needed to step in that stage and rock. Truth being said I was only able to do so because I am a punk and that is why I teach my kids to be punks. Funny thing is, when I said that only a few people got it because nobody really know what it means to be a punk.
First, being a punk is about being authentic, being true to yourself and embracing who you truly are. Quite simple!
Second, is about following your dreams. Nothing to do with money, I mean your real dreams, you know, the dreams of your heart. That sparkle of light that we all have inside. That something that makes your soul light up! (Note: sometimes might be a real dream)
Third, being a punk is recognizing that we are all souls. I mean we are very similar in the biological level, however in the soul level we are all unique. We all have something to learn and something to teach in this life.
Now you just have to keep in mind is that life will challenge you no matter what, so you can either enjoy the ride by following your dreams (heart) or you can make the challenge of life miserably challenging. I choose to follow my dreams. For example, I have been wanting to do my philosophical YouTube channel show but never had the balls, so this week I finally launched the coffee with weed talk show. I talk show with myself, you know, when you need an expert opinion you have to ask yourself.
The best part is that the show is in English and Portuguese, just like the punk rock songs for kids. Therefore today I am launching my cover song in Portuguese called a barata (the cockroach).
So be a Punk, ambrase your assholeness and shine were the light doesn’t shine. I choose religion for many reasons, but most because they are the first ones to fail in reconize souls and our uniqueness. Ironic, right? Because they sure preach about it, but actions speaks lauder than words.
Radio Rejects – 2
Rock-it-ology: Hey Josh, it’s been a while since our last interview, tell us what you been up to?
G’day! Since the last time we had a chin wag, we’ve been busy writing new songs for the album aswell as having a ball making some fun clips. Of course COVID made alot of band activity hard, and having Mik our guitarist live at the other end of the country, it was hard to get alot done but somehow we made it work
Rock-it-ology: How many songs radio reject have it out?
At the present time we have 5 singles out on all streaming platforms
Where you can find them?
Places like Spotify, YouTube music, Google Music, apple music and some of the smaller sites people dig
Rock-it-ology: Now, why you decided to play punk rock?
I was a late bloomer. I actually didn’t start music til after high school , I failed music all through school. Then one day picked up a mates bass and started playing stuff that sounded good.
Couple of years down the track I’d self taught myself bass, guitar, drums and keyboard all by ear haha
Playing gigs always takes me to my happy place haha
Rock-it-ology: I read in an interview that you did, that you started this whole thing because you were bullied, is that right? Can you explain more about it?
I was bullied alot as a kid. Kids can be cruel. Even though I was bigger than most kids I would sit there and take it as I just wanted to have friends. It got to a point where I “grew” my own little persona of not giving a fuck anymore. Ironically enough this made me come off as stubborn and arrogant, when really I was shy and didn’t know how to interact with people.
This was the basis of the song “Monster’s” that we released.
Rock-it-ology: Who makes your awesome videos?
Haha thanks, Ive made the last couple with more in the works. I’ve always wanted to write and make movies. I bought a camera and gave it a go. I love doing It and hope to help more bands out there get theirs done too
Rock-it-ology: How can people support your band? Anything you like to add?
We are on all the main social medias like Facebook and Instagram.
We are proud of what we do and like I’ve always said if I can get 1 person leaving a show with a tune id written stuck in their head, then my job is done!
To truly support the band you can go to our Bandcamp where all the money people pay actually comes to us ..
Our past record label has yet to swing a single cent our way, pushing us to leave and go our own path!
Thanks for the chat and we love the passion you have for you , the music and your family brother!
Check out their new song!
Chapter 10: The dream is true.
About 2 weeks ago I started dreaming that Luke, my first born, was talking (he is almost 5 and non verbal). Anyways, I had this dream 3 nights in a row. Normally when that kind of stuff happens I don’t say a word, however since I am getting out of depression and gaining my voice, I told my wife and Luke about the dream. That is when things got weird.
A few days after I started to notice Luke using his talker more and his voice, but never mouth movement and sound together. Is usually one or the other. Until the other day when I was recording the Punkaste video, and my wife called me and said: -Come here, your dream is true!
When I arrived at the living room, Luke simply said “Ma” with sound and mouth movement and of course, I freaked out. A dream that became real shouldn’t freak me out, right? The issue is, it’s not the first time. My life is full of stories like that I just never really talked about it, and after Luke was born things got more intense.
This is actually pretty cool if it wasn’t for the fact that I was scared of my spirituality. This fear is what created my depression on the first place, so the fact that, I opened up with my wife about that and that I am here writing about it is fucking a HUGE step into my healing. Anyways, the crazy part is that I feel what Luke feels and vice-versa, so seems like my theory of the Dream of mirrors is true!
Speaking of dreams the one of me creating music is also true, and also the one of me writing my coaching philosophy as well, the inner child revolution guide. Those dreams along with a few other in my life (book is coming soon) are true. I am grateful that even scared as fuck I follow them.