A few years ago Rirou was tired of racing ironman and he felt the need to change and do something more meaningful. Rirou always heard that he had an ability to reinvent himself, even though is not really about reinventing himself, is more like a rebirth.
Rirou created this blog to share his journey with the hopes that might one day motivate someone. The whole idea of the blog is to talk about all aspects of life, specially mental health, music and fatherhood.
This week completes one year that Rirou joined school of rock to start learning a life time dream: Learn how to play the guitar and sing. Not only that, Rirou had an idea of creating punk rock songs for kids.
“It’s a rebirth” Rirou
Yes, is true Rirou transform himself. Well, he likes claim “it’s a rebirth”. On Saturday 6/13/20 the very first Rock-it-ology Punk rock song for kids got ready and Luke approved.
Rirou decided to launched his very first song next Sunday 06/21/20, his 40th birthday and father’s day. Stay tuned for the Rock-it-ology very first single this Sunday.
Speaking of father’s day, have you got your Rocker Dad shirt yet?
Also, check out the schedule of the blog in case you like the story.
Why chewbacca Monday? Well, it’s kind of motivation Monday, but since I stopped shaving my body I realized I have so much hair that I am like Chewbacca. Sorry is too much information, but its the reality.
It was 15 min to midnight during the winter solstice in the south hemisphere of the planet earth, the moon was waxing gibbous when Rirou, the punk, was born. Rirou is considered a sensitive soul, or what many call nowadays an empath personality. Rirou has always been fascinated by the moon, since little he always looked up to the for answers. Somehow he feels he is related to the moon, but mostly the dark side of the moon, that is why he considered himself a moonchild.
Rirou had a passion for heavy metal music, he loved Iron Maiden and guitars, specially air guitars. He also loved skateboarding, and according to family history he was on top of the skateboard at around 2 years old. Around 7 years old he got an vinyl as present, but it was a kids music vinyl, so he exchanged to an ACDC vinyl, the fly on the wall. He loved the fact bee ass on the back of the vinyl.
Rirou has always being a punk, and around 12 years old he called the Pope an asshole for not allowing Iron Maiden to play in Chile. Rirou started to get angry, because he did not understand how a man could determinate who could or not enjoy something. That made him sad, and made him cry many times.
Also as a sensitive soul Rirou did not really understood many things that he felt, since that some of those feelings were not necessarily his. According to studies empath can feel the energy and emotions around them, and with Rirou was not different. And that made him cry even more. How much he cried? A lot, in fact, he cried so much that everyone sang this song to him:
Rirou, like many other kids, was thought that boys didn’t cry, and that he needed to swallow his feelings. He needed to be a man, a “real man.” Well, he did exactly that, he started to swallow his feelings, and he started to numb them with food. Instead of crying, talking or even accessing his feelings he started to eat, and that started a whole new set of issues.
Rirou started to feel really bad about himself, because the music he loved dearly was considered the devil music, and skateboarding was considered a crime, even though those things made him feel good. They made him feel alive, but everything else around him said the opposite. So he started to think that everything was wrong with him, and that he was not allowed to feel good.
Rirou started to eat compulsively, and within a few years he was having weight issues so, besides “being a sensitive kid”, he was now the “chubby sensitive child”. By 13 years old Rirou was completely numb and started shaving his head totally opposite of what he wanted (he wanted long hair like the maiden guys). Confused Rirou started to started dieting after he read the book “So e gordo quem quer”, which the translation is “You are only fat because you want”. He also started to exercise insanity, sometimes 3 times a day and he started to become obsessed with his body imagine, and that is when he joined a basketball team…
After Rirou’s walk through the COVID-420, a 40 day introspection Rirou finally finish writing the Rock-it-ology holy book. The way this new faith works is simple, everything from the heart is free. Rirou only charges the things he paid to learn, quite simple. Therefore, the holy book (e-book) is free, except the diet (last part).
Wednesday April 15th, Rirou woke up that day thinking what he was going to talk in therapy. Rirou had gone to therapy last week and he thought he didn’t have much to talk about it, so the day went by as usual.
About one year ago Rirou arrived home from therapy and for the first time he was in a good mood after a therapy session. He arrived with his air guitar with the best “Angus Young” moves he knows. That is Rirou’s trademark at home, the “Angus Young” air guitar. Of course everyone looked confused, so he looked to the family and “I found my calling I joined a band”. They look even more confused because he did not know how to play the guitar neither how to sing. Maybe it is a midlife crisis after all. But Rirou completed, don’t worry is a school of Rock program, I gonna learn how to play and sing for fun and that was an instant relief.
Let’s be honest, what are the chances of becoming a rock star at 40? Not impossible, but it is very small. Plus, that was not the goal. In fact, it was not about making money or being famous. It was all about his soul, and that is how he started therapy that day.
Rirou told his therapist what he was doing and what he wanted to do, and he said “it’s not about the money”; she replied, “is about what then?” Rirou simply said is about how I feel. When she asked, and how you feel? Rirou answered so fast and automatically like it was not even him talking. It is crazy how the subconscious mind works. Rirou simple replied: “Like an asshole”. Right at that moment, Rirou’s matrix collapsed.
Rirou love art but the problem is that the art that he loves dearly is considered offensive for many, and in his subconscious mind he truly believed that he was an asshole and a sinner. After all, that is what he was thought his entire life.
Rirou look to his therapist, and simply said: “This is fucked up. I am fucked” and both laugh. “It is all in his mind” he said “I need to do something if I want my kids to feel worth it.” Rirou stayed quite for a few minutes crying, and he said “My Dad said I could be anything that I want, so I will become the biggest asshole. The biggest asshole by not being an asshole with myself anymore. I need to save me from myself. Is time to fire my guns!”
This last punk rule is where Rirou have more authority to talk, since he have been on a diet since at least 13 years old. Diet and exercise. Weight was one of Rirou’s biggest issue, besides Religion if you haven’t figure it out.
Rirou have tried pretty much all diets in the planet, honestly, he done vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, keto, paleo and carnivore. He also played around with detox and natural supplements. Rirou also tried several different training approaches. He just wanted to find out how he could perform his best without drugs so he tried it all. Add to that, the fact that Rirou had an obsession with being skinny since very early childhood.
At the age of 33 Rirou in theory achieved his perfect body with 6% body fat, but at a huge cost: his health. The crazy part of all, is that was he still didn’t like his body. Even with 6% body he could not run shirtless, or even look at his own eyes in the mirror. Rirou was killing himself in his workouts and eating the “cleanest” and yet he was sick and not happy.
After 10 years training as hard as he could, trying all diets he had achieved the dream body but he was sick. Rirou was having hot flashes, yes a 33 year old man can have hot flashes! His thyroid has fucked up and his was almost pre diabetic.
Rirou started to unlearn what he had learned about health and did what he did best, he challenged the status quo like a good punk he is. He started to realized that:
Athletes are not healthy (90%+), and they take a lot of shit to be “healthy”. There are a small % that don’t take.
Skinny does not mean healthy.
You don’t need to exercise a lot, neither every day to be healthy. Is actually quite the opposite.
You don’t need to eat every 3 hours, neither have to have 3 meals a day, and breakfast is not the most important meal of the day.
Food and exercise are totally related with how you feel, since both of them are easy ways numb our emotions (at least for Rirou). Rirou was the living prof of that (definitely more on this topic coming).
That was very hard for Rirou because he had realized that he was repeating the same mistake as before but in the other side on the spectrum. He was again addicted (he substituted the cigarette addiction to exercise) and sick. That is when this punk rule started, a simple concept of eating and training like you give a f*ck about yourself. Now, he eats when he is hungry, what he feels like it (real food), skateboards and do yoga when he feels like it. Health is at it’s best, with energy and weight is stable.
This quarantine was being good for Rirou, he was finally understanding how he felt, I guess going to preschool with Luke was helping. Today is Tuesday April 14th, and it was the day before therapy and Rirou did not even have his PTW (male pms). He did not even think he had much to talk in therapy…