Truth is, when I decided to write my book one of my motivation was so that parents could possibly understand their misfit child. But I also wanted to motivate people to follow their dreams, however is not any dream.
Let’s be honest, I am no Tony Ribbons, cause I am no guru. I am not a Dalai Lama, meaning I am not a monk. I am no priest. Neither I am a hero, I just like to keep it real. Having said that I am good at some things when it comes to all that: Attitude!
But what is my attitude? This is no joke. My book is literally about dreams, like real dreams that actually had. Meaning, those dreams weren’t about money or fame, they were real vivid dreams that I decided to follow and that stated opening doors in my life. What I am trying to say is that the attitude is of doing even with all odds against me.
Truth being said by, in theory going crazy, and deciding to follow a dream, lead me to connect a bunch of dots in my life. Gave purpose to my pain, and made me realize that the native Americans were right in so many things. One of them is the theory that dreams can guide or save someones soul.
Nobody really understands a dream, and maybe a dream is not meant to be understood, but is meant to be followed. I honestly believe if the dreams are from your heart, you cannot go wrong. Therefore Rock your boat, life is about following your dreams….
Looking back in my life I realized I most of my decisions with my spirituality, or as you may call, leap of faith. It’s actually quite ironic, a metal head and a punk like me. Anyways, so many times in my life I felt alone, and the only option was to take a leap of faith. Well, as a sensitive man, I kind became really good with the punk force. That explains why I pick on Pope Francis, I mean we are seeing horrendous things our so called “authorities” are doing. Doesn’t matter which side, it’s a fucking mess, and Pope Francis as a religious authority is saying a lot of bullshit. The latest he criticized misinformation about the vaccines.
First of all, I am unvaccinated and I already said that loud and clear. When I put my experience combined with my intuition and my personal research on health the math does not match so I option out of the vaccine. And I know I am not alone on that. Therefore, I really question, does the Pope even know what it means to be sensitive. Not only that, be sensitive in the last 2 years? I guess not, because otherwise he would not be talking shit.
Second, I do think the vaccine might benefit some people I am not against the vaccine. I am pro choice. The weapon of choice. Now, back in 2020 when I had my first intuition to not take the vaccine, what first came into my head was my heart. I felt the energy really strong in that area, and now, for some coincidental reason we are seeing an increase in heart disease. Suddenly! At least some of the news and some doctors I follow on twitter are saying. Could be just a coincidence, could be fake news, however, I heard 2 cases from people close to me. Which that leads me to the fact that Pfizer (and others however share holders are the same anyways) have a huge history of medicine recalls and corruption.
Third, we are living a game of blame and lies and my question is, who can you really trust? Well, your intuition. That is the only way we can navigate in times like this. Having said that, I really question why Pope Francis would keep shaming, judging and condemning the unvaccinated. I am pretty sure this is not what Jesus would do. Also, what does the Pope knows about health? Is clear that does not know anything about soul. Maybe he sold for Pfizer.
Religion is a real virus in this planet, because in my philosophical studies, shaming, judgment, fear, and guilt are energies. Heavy energies, that when absorb weights your soul down leading your to depression. The big question is, why the Roman Catholic Church wants a depress world? Why are they afraid of people connecting to this light that is coming to earth? Does not make sense, as a religious authority I believe he would be happy when someone is connected, but what we see is the opposite. Same thing we the so called “health authorities” around the world. Might be safe to say that those authorities are the real virus in this world…
Well, I said in my last post that my life js odd. My life is so odd because sometimes I think I am the only person in the planet that believes anger is a good thing. Well, maybe Johnny Rotten is right, anger an energy. I believe it is an energy and a good one. Don’t know about him, I recently got his book so we shall see. But I do believe is an energy and I believe is great if channelled properly.
I mean, I was here in my bean bag thinking: “man, writting a book and launching an album was so healing “. That’s when I realized I used all my anger into something beautiful. Because my book above all is a true love story. It’s raw, but it is. And my album, what can I say? Is what I truly wish is to you go follow your dreams. Just remember, it will be rock and roll.
Anyways, looking at my book and remembering the talk I had in my last podcast with Renata and Mateo. I realized, a lot was left out. I mean details of the battles of the ironmans. Those were golden years. Honestly, the internal battle of wanting to understand why I hated myself were intense. Good thing I like onions because it feel like onions, trauma have layers and layers and crying and crying until you get to the root.
I guess, I internalized my anger to not cry and I got numb, so numb that I couldn’t even feel myself. Well, like my first sponsor (my brother) said in the preface of my book, I choose brutally. I chose pain. That was my way out. I looked in the mirror and said ok, “don’t wanna say it, fine. We will fight like lions in a cage”. It felt like fight club 😁. Well, that’s how I found the root of the cause. It was too long to put in a song so I put in a book, however the first book because I think the details of the battles will be cool to be written.
Anyways, the best thing is that now I know how to feel up the cup in the soul level. You know that quote, right? You can’t pour from an empty cup. Now is like I am living lighter. Floating, instead of caring the world in my back. Sure is how it feels. I can see the difference in my entire life, I mean every body can. Well, spiritual trauma is that. It affects everything because the shit is deep. And the healing came from anger and picking a fight with the mirror. After all I didn’t look good naked.
Odd right? Maybe, I don’t know. Maybe there are way more people like me out there. Who knows. But I think is quite ironic the fact I am a reiki master and fan of anger. Anger is an energy and is a great one to initiate change. Helped me achieve dreams and overcome fears, and to find myself again. Feel whole and reconnect with my true self. There is no better feeling than feeling connected, and that feeling affects your surroundings.
Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup, and yes, today I do look good naked. Sure I look like Chewbacca but a feel like a twinkle twinkle little star. (I hope you are laughing as much as I am). I must say, save my soul with rock and roll and come back with a Philosophy based on anger it’s guite genius or insane. Who knows? Just, don’t mind the bollocks, but isn’t ironic?