I had the idea of this song while doing the air guitar dance for Luke after reading itsy bitsy spider by Pete the cat. The air guitar dance is just like the official video of the song. Yeah I dance like that! I added to the lyrics that she is never giving up because is how I feel about us, and what says in the book, meaning we are never giving up our birth right witch is joy! Here it is, Itsy bitsy spider Punk version:
Here is the book of Punk Rock ABC, called My very first Punk book made it buy HEcreative!
June 19th 2019, 2 days before my 39th birthday, 2 days before international yoga day and 2 days before summer solstice. It was night time I was driving back from therapy crying my eyes out as usual when I decided to break the biggest habit of my life: Feeling like shit and unworthy!
I stopped at School of Rock, got class information and adult band program information. Doing that finally felt like myself again after years of therapy. I knew what the issue was and what I needed to do, now I needed to do it. The easiest way to explain is like I was cage and now I was free and learning but I needed to learn how to fly again. That is how depression felt for me, felt like you are suffocated, or caged.
In December of 2019 I went to Sao Paulo to see my Dad, and during that visit I had some interesting conversations that all included Religion. Some conversations got heated, to a point someone said “Oh you got traumatized”, and then I said for the first time “yes, I got traumatized” which was followed by an awkward silence. I honestly I couldn’t believe it was 2019 and nothing has changed. The judgments were still there, stronger than ever, almost like is imprinted in your subconscious.
Now, I must say, I could have done what I usually did, be quiet, not say a word, and swallow my feelings. However, now I know the damage that holding it in does, and this time was different, my inner punk is awaken and ready to fight, at least put voice out there. Why? Because is not about me, is about my kids and the kind of world I want to leave for them. Plus, I not going to sell my soul. So, I broke another habit and once I went back home, we decided not to put a Christmas tree (Best holiday ever!). I mean, the 3 years we put Luke did not care about the tree. Plus, what that teaches my kids? To spend tons of money? waste time putting up and down? That Santa Clause only give kids present to the kids that can afford to buy? That only “good” kids deserve toys? I want teach my kids to listen to their hearts, trust their feelings and have good family time (staying in the now) and for that you don’t need a holiday, a tree or even a fucking reason.
The problem is not the belief itself, the problem is believing you are better because of your belief. As far as I am concerned we are all humans living by the same laws of the universe (life, death, gravity etc). I mean you can believe in whatever the hell you want, but that believe can’t harm others.
I have always believed in the force, the life force, which is something you find a lot in Yoga and Reiki, you just need to be alive to have it. This force gets more powerful with love, and love is inclusive. Punkaste is my prophecy. The punk side is totally inspired by Bad Religion, Sex Pistols, Green Day, Ramones, Pennywise, The Offspring and much more. The aste side is totally inspired by Motorhead, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Judas Priest, and more, which is teaching kids how not to sell their soul and possibly motivate others to look within and get out of the depression matrix. My punk side is picking a fight with Religion, and my aste (my sensitive side) is teaching kids about inclusion, skateboarding, and fast and loud songs. Yes, I found my why in life, I now know why I exist. I am a glitch in the matrix! Again, fuck depression let’s Rock. Oh and fuck Religion too, that is child abuse! Save our children!
Do you know the greatest difficulty of depression? Is to be seen. When I first starting doing therapy I didn’t know how big of a shit I was in. I knew it was big, but no idea it was that big. That is what she said by the way.
Here is the thing, what makes us humans is our emotions and our ability to feel it and express. When I first started therapy I knew something was wrong, and hearing that I was depressed meant nothing, because I was emotionally numb. Therefore, I need to learn how to feel and learn my emotions again. Once I did that I started to understand how big the shit was.
Once I accepted that I was depressed I realized that it was about my existence, my feelings. Just like the song walking contradiction; “I have no belief but I believe I am walking contradiction and I have no right.” That is how it felt, like I had no right to feel how I felt, not even if was causing me harm. Now what makes it harder is when you finally accept and tell people you were depressed most people think is bullshit. They think that because is something invisible and in my case I was a good actor pretending everything was fine. Kind of like on that movie Anger Management with Adam Sandler.
Now the opposite of Anger is Joy and there is nothing more fun than learn and play these songs. I believe that feelings are our super power as humans, because they guide us and life is how you feel. So, now that I got my power back I can say “Don’t fuck with my feelings”. Learning how to sing, play, write (blog and book), write punk songs for kids is such a big metaphor for me, like I am gaining really gaining my super powers back (voice). That feels really good, like I can finally love myself and rise out of the depression that I was in for a long time. Like the Religious heaven boring and all the same and what is worst, in a bad neighborhood since you need to go through the gates of heaven.
Now is time to raise hell because isn’t a bad place, and now that I got my power back nobody messes with my feelings, neither with my kids feelings. Not even God (per Religion), because the truth is people might never understand how music makes me feel, the same way on how marijuana doesn’t numb my feelings it just amplifies, the same way music does. Now, I don’t give a shit of what people think. However, I do care about children that is why is important to teach them not to sell their soul.
Listen up here, I’ll make it quite clear I’m gonna put some boogie in your ear Shake and bop, don’t you stop Dance like a maniac until you drop I don’t mind, I don’t mind I can run a razor right up your spine What are you waiting for? What do you think you were created for? Show us, you care, show us you dare You don’t know what happened if you weren’t there Born to raise hell, born to raise hell We know how to do it and we do it real well Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Voodoo medicine, cast my spell Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Play that guitar just like ringin’ a bell Take it or leave it Going for broke, rock ’til you choke It don’t matter if you drink or smoke Speak through the beat, get up on your feet Sweating like a hound dog, white as a sheetDon’t you be scared, don’t you be scared Everybody terrified, it don’t seem fair What are you waiting for? What do you think you were creating for Out of your seat, blind in the heat Do the nasty boogie mama, stomp your feet Born to raise hell, born to raise hell We know how to do it and we do it real well Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Go back to zero, take a pill and get well Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Be a good soldier and die where you fell Born to raise hell, born to raise hell We know how to do it and we do it real well Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Go on out and boogie ’cause you never can tell Born to raise hell, born to raise hell Be a good soldier and die where you fell Born to raise hell, born to raise hell We know how to do it and we do it real well
Looking good is matter of being comfortable in your own skin. Rirou have had a hard time with that for a long time. For a long time he could not even look at his own eyes in the mirror. It did not matter how many affirmations he did, how many diets, or how much exercise he did. He did not look good naked. When Luke was born everything changed, Rirou needed to accept himself and feel good about himself if he wanted his kids to feel that way.
Rirou notice the more he played the guitar and did his art the better he felt, and the better he looked good naked. Meaning he could actually look at himself in the mirror. Not only that, he could look in the mirror and say I love you out loud. Even looking like Chewbacca, that is how he describes himself after he stop shaving his body, after all, he was no longer a triathlete, therefore no need to shave. Sorry that is too much information but it’s part of the process.
Since life is a mirror game, he notice the better he felt the better Luke felt. For Rirou it was clear, everything is connected, and starts with you and how you feel. That is when the Rocker Dad project came along…. The punk side you probably already notice, the attitude, and tomorrow the rocker Dad will rise.