Chapter 7: The punk in me honors the punk you

The day of this picture was the day my eyes open after Luke was born. I mean, I was blind for awhile due to the light Luke brought to me. That day was also the same day Luke opened his eyes physically also the day he flipped everybody off. I mean he was on planet earth for 19 days and all we did was test after test to figure it out what was going on. That was the day things started to change and I understood as: He is fine, he just needs love like any other child in the world.

From that point on my wife and I said enough testing, let’s just wait for more results to come and start seeing what we need to do take him home, taking him out to see the sun, take him to the beach, take him skateboarding, start living in general. We started to work on getting out of the hospital. In other words, we said let him shine and see what support he needs.

Feeling that Luke was fine helped me keep going within and keep working on my healing, he actually speed up the process. That was my promise to myself, I did not want to pass on my baggage to my kids. Luckily, that was not my first transformation, so I knew what I needed to do. In order to change anything you must first destroy the old and that is what I did, something I call anarchy with a discipline of an ironman. I didn’t think twice, and I decided to fully retire form racing and only coach. That felt really good.

I started to build the new or what I thought was the new, but the universe was sending me another way and little by little I started to lose my clients. Until one day my coaching deal with LA Fitness ended out of nowhere. So, we decided to move to Colorado. I tried a to do the same old story, go back to school but that was not it either. I was still confused, so I found a therapist in Colorado and restarted my therapy sessions.

This time therapy were really intense, since I was getting into the core of the issue of my depression. I mean, up to know I have used physical pain (ironman), and it help however it was not healing. I was just a slave of pain. For me, all we need is Love, so I needed to Love myself and that means embrace and accept my inner punk. I knew what I needed to do was to heal my inner child, I was still angry inside. For me that was only one option: I needed to make that air guitar become real. I needed learn how to play my favorite songs in the guitar, that was my goal when I got the guitar before Luke was born. Yeah, those same songs that I always heard it was taking me to hell.

I started to play and since I always wanted to do some non-profit and something the brings change, I was looking for something that could unite both. With time my mission started to make sense, and again the universe made his move and put me in inside a preschool classroom. I did the first year of preschool with Luke as his nurse cause she quit in the 1st month. There I realized that kids are naturally born punks, they know about love and unity. I mean, seen how Luke rocks and keep asking for fast songs, and seen kids in preschool I am sure kids are born punks! Therefore, we just need to teach them not to sell their soul and embrace their inner punk.

The more I meditate the more insane I become, and I know that I need to fulfill my destiny. I decided to turn my anger into something nice. I realize that if I use the enemy (rock) and start them early I could raise an army of punks. An army of love, and love you know, spreads like fire. Therefore, I could make a real change in world while healing myself. As I learn how to play my favorite “Religious” songs they inspire me to create Punk Rock songs for kids. This way I can change the world one kid at the time…. Some might enjoy, some might not, but remember it’s okay to be different, and love is love.

Punkaste,

Rirou

Day 33 of 40 – Thou shalt eat and train like you give a f*ck

This last punk rule is where Rirou have more authority to talk, since he have been on a diet since at least 13 years old. Diet and exercise. Weight was one of Rirou’s biggest issue, besides Religion if you haven’t figure it out.

Rirou have tried pretty much all diets in the planet, honestly, he done vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, keto, paleo and carnivore. He also played around with detox and natural supplements. Rirou also tried several different training approaches. He just wanted to find out how he could perform his best without drugs so he tried it all. Add to that, the fact that Rirou had an obsession with being skinny since very early childhood.

At the age of 33 Rirou in theory achieved his perfect body with 6% body fat, but at a huge cost: his health. The crazy part of all, is that was he still didn’t like his body. Even with 6% body he could not run shirtless, or even look at his own eyes in the mirror. Rirou was killing himself in his workouts and eating the “cleanest” and yet he was sick and not happy.

After 10 years training as hard as he could, trying all diets he had achieved the dream body but he was sick. Rirou was having hot flashes, yes a 33 year old man can have hot flashes! His thyroid has fucked up and his was almost pre diabetic.

Rirou started to unlearn what he had learned about health and did what he did best, he challenged the status quo like a good punk he is. He started to realized that:

  • Athletes are not healthy (90%+), and they take a lot of shit to be “healthy”. There are a small % that don’t take.
  • Skinny does not mean healthy.
  • You don’t need to exercise a lot, neither every day to be healthy. Is actually quite the opposite.
  • You don’t need to eat every 3 hours, neither have to have 3 meals a day, and breakfast is not the most important meal of the day.
  • Food and exercise are totally related with how you feel, since both of them are easy ways numb our emotions (at least for Rirou). Rirou was the living prof of that (definitely more on this topic coming).

That was very hard for Rirou because he had realized that he was repeating the same mistake as before but in the other side on the spectrum. He was again addicted (he substituted the cigarette addiction to exercise) and sick. That is when this punk rule started, a simple concept of eating and training like you give a f*ck about yourself. Now, he eats when he is hungry, what he feels like it (real food), skateboards and do yoga when he feels like it. Health is at it’s best, with energy and weight is stable.

This quarantine was being good for Rirou, he was finally understanding how he felt, I guess going to preschool with Luke was helping. Today is Tuesday April 14th, and it was the day before therapy and Rirou did not even have his PTW (male pms). He did not even think he had much to talk in therapy…

Feel Good,

Rirou

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